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Saturday, December 29, 2012

BIG FISH [2003]

An Adventure As Big As Life Itself


Sometimes the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring.
~Ed Bloom

I was thinking about death and all.
About seeing how you're gonna die.
I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up.
But it could kind of help you, couldn't it?
Because everything else, you'd know you could survive.
~Ed Bloom
 Ed: Having a kid changed everything.
There's the diapers and the burping and the midnight feeding.
Will: Did you do any of that?
Ed: No. Nut I hear it's terrible.
Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill its head with nonsense,
and still it turns out perfectly fine.
Will: You think I'm up for it?
Ed: You learned from the best.

We're storytellers, both of us.
I speak mine out, you write yours down, same thing.
~Ed Bloom

Truth is, no one quite knew what was wrong.
Most time a person grows up gradually, while I found myself in a hurry.
My muscles and my bones couldn't keep up with my body's ambition.
So I spent the better part of 3 years confined to my bed,
with the encyclopedia being my only means of exploration.
I had made it all the way to the G's, hoping to find an answer to my 'gigantificationism',
when I uncovered an article about the common goldfish. 
"Kept it in s small bowl, the goldfish will remain small.
With more space, the fish will grow double, triple or quadruple its size."
It occurred to me then that perhaps the reason for my growth was that I was intended for larger things.
After all, a giant man can't have an ordinary-sized life.
~Ed Bloom


Karl: I don't want to eat you. I don't want to eat anybody.
I just get so hungry. I'm just too big.
Ed: Did you ever think that maybe you're not too big, but maybe this town is just too small?

Why are you wasting your time in a small city?
You're a big man. You need a big city.
~Ed Bloom
 And what I recall of Sunday school was that the more difficult something is,
the more rewarding it is in the end.
~Ed Bloom

Ed: Did you see that woman?
Jenny: What did she look like?
Ed: Well, she was...
Jenny: Was she naked?
Ed: Yes, she was.
Jenny: It's not a woman. It's a fish. No one ever cathces her.
Fish looks different to different people.
My daddy said it looked like the coon dog he had when he was a kid, back from the dead.

Ed: I have to leave. Tonight.
Beaman: Why?
Ed: This town is more than any man could ask for.
And if I were to end up here, I would consider myself lucky.
But the truth is, I'm just not ready to end up anywhere.

Ed: I don't know if you're aware of this, Josephine, 
but African parrots, in their native Congo, they speak only French.
Josephine: Really?
Ed: You're lucky to get 4 words out of them in English.
But if you were to walk through the jungle, you'd hear them speaking the most elaborate French.
Those parrots talk about everything. Politics, movies, fashion. Everything, but religion.
Will: Why not religion, Dad?
Ed: It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.

Josephine: How are you feeling?
Ed: Oh, I was dreaming.
Josephine: What were you dreaming about?
Ed: Oh, I don't usually remember, unless they're specially portentous.
Do you know what the word means?
[Josephine grinning and shake her head]
It means when you dream about something that's gonna happen.
Like one night, I had a dream where this crow came and said, "Your aunt is gonna die."
I was so scared, I woke up my parents,
but they said it was just a dream and to get back to bed.
But the next morning, my Aunt Stacy was dead.
Josephine: That's terrible.
Ed: Terrible for her, but think about me, young boy with that kind of power.
Wasn't 3 weeks later when the crow came back to me in a dream and said,
"Your daddy's gonna die."
I didn't know what to do.
I finally told my father, but he said, "Oh, not to worry." But I could see he was rattled.
The next morning he wasn't himself.
Kept looking around, waiting for something to drop on his head.
Because the crow didn't say how it was gonna happen, just those words, "Your daddy's gonna die."
Well, he left home early and was gone a long time.
When he finally came back, he looked terrible, like he was waiting for the ax to fall all day.
He said to my mother, "I've just had the worst day of my life."
"You think you've had a bad day?" she said. "This morning, the milkman dropped dead on the porch."
Because, see, my mother was banging the milkman.

Amos: You were a big fish in a small pond, but this here is the ocean, and you're drowning.
Take my advise, go back to Puddleville, you'll be happy there.
Ed: You say I don't have a plan? I do.
I'm gonna find that girl, marry her, and spend the rest of my life with her.
I don't have a job, but I would have a job if you gave me one.
And I may not have much, but I have more determination that any man you're likely to meet.


You don't know me, but my name is Edward Bloom, and I love you.
I've spent the last 3 years working to find out who you are.
I've been shot, stabbed, and trampled a few times. I broke my ribs twice.
But it's all been worth it to see you here now and to finally get to talk to you.
Because I'm destined to marry you.
I knew it for the first moment I saw you at the circus, and I know it now more than ever.
~Edward Bloom

Sandra: Daffodils!
Ed: They're your favorite flower.
Sandra: How did you get so many?
Ed: I called everywhere in 5 states.
I told them it was the only way to get my wife to marry me.
Sandra: You don't even know me.
Ed: I have the rest of my life to find out.

Sandra: Don! I will never marry you!
Don: What? You mean, you love this guy?
Sandra: He's almost a stranger, and I prefer him to you.

Most men, they'll tell you a story straight through.
It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either.
~Edward Bloom

Will: Dad, I have no idea who you are, because you've never told me a single fact.
Ed: I've told you a thousand facts, Will. That's what I do! I tell stories!
Will: You tell lies, Dad. You tell amusing lies.
Stories are what you tell a 5-year-old at bedtime.
They're not elaborate mythologies that you maintain when your son is 10 and 15 and 20 and 30.
I believed you. I believed your stories so much longer than I should have.
Then when I realized everything you said was impossible, I felt like a fool to have trusted you.
You're like Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny. Just as charming and just as fake.
Ed: You think I'm fake.
Will: Only on the surface, Dad. But it's all I've ever seen.
Look, I'm about to have a kid of my own.
It would kill me if he went through his whole life never understanding me.
Ed: It would kill you, huh?
What do you want, Will? Who do you want me to be?
Will: Just yourself. Good, bad, everything.
Just show me who you are for once.
Ed: I've been nothing but myself since the day I was born.
And if you can't see that, it's your failing, not mine!


Dr. Bennett: Your father ever tell you about the day you were born?
Will: Yeah, a thousand times. He caught an uncatchable fish.
Dr. Bennett: No that. The real story. He ever tell you that?
Will: No.
Dr. Bennett: Well, your mother came in about 3 in the afternoon.
Her neighbor drove her, on account of your father was away on business in Wichita.
You were born a week early, but there were no complications.
It was a perfect delivery.
Your father was sorry not to be there.
But it wasn't the custom then for men to be in the room for deliveries,
so I can't see how it would've been much different had he been there.
And that's the real story of how you were born.
Not very exciting, isn't it?
And I supposed if I had to choose between the true version 
and an elaborate one involving a fish and a wedding ring, I might choose the fancy version.
But, then that's just me.


 Have you ever heard a joke so many times you've forgotten why it's funny?
And then you hear it again and suddenly it's new.
You remember why you loved it in the first place.
That was my father's final joke, I guess.
A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories.
They live on after him.
And in that way, he becomes immortal.
~Will Bloom




*****

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

LOVE ACTUALLY [2003]

Love Actually Is All Around


Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport.
General options makes out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that.
Seems to me that love is everywhere.
Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy but it's always there.
Fathers and sons, mother and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.
When the planes hit the Twin Towers,
none of the phone calls from people on board were messages of hate or revenge, 
they were all messages of love.
If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.
~The Prime Minister


 Prime Minister: Hello, Natalie.
Natalie: Hello, David... I mean, sir...
Shit, I can't believe I've just said that.
And now I've gone and said 'shit'. Twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: You could've said 'fuck' and we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir.
I had a premonition I was gonna fuck up on my first day.
Oh, piss it! [embarassed]

I am Colin, God of Sex.

I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.
~Colin

Billy: Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.
Michael: And that's not you?
Billy: That's not me, Michael.
When I was young and successful, I was greedy and foolish,
and now I'm left with no one, wrinkled and alone.

He said I was getting fat.
He said no one'd fancy a girl with thighs the size of 3 trunks.
Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
~Natalie

Hiya, kids.
Here's an important message from your Uncle Bill... don't buy drugs.
Become a pop star and they give you them for free.
~Billy Mack

I love that word 'relationship'.
Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?
I fear that this has become a bad relationship.
A relationship based on the President taking what he wants 
and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to... Britain.
We may be a small country but we're a great one, too.
The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, The Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter.
David Beckham's right foot, David Beckham's left foot come to that.
And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend.
And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger.
And the President should be prepared for that.
~The Prime Minister

[on the phone]
Prime Minister: I'm very busy and important, how can I help you?
Karen: Have you gone completely insane?
Prime Minister: You can't always be sensible.
Karen: 'You can if you're Prime Minister.'

The trouble with being The Prime Minister's sister is it puts your life into perspective.
What did my brother do today?
He stood up for his country.
What did I do?
I made a papier-mache-lobster head.
~Karen

Harry: What is this we're listening to?
Karen: Joni Mitchell.
Harry: I can't believe you still listen to Joni Mitchell.
Karen: I love her and true love lasts a lifetime.
Joni Mitchell is the woman who taught your cold English wife how to feel.
Harry: Did she?
Oh, well, that's good, I must write to her and say thanks.

Aurelia: Later you'll drive me home?
Jamie: Sure. It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you.


[on the phone]
Harry: Are you gonna give me something?
Mia: I thought I made it clear last night.
When it comes to me, you can have everything.
Harry: So, what do you need?
Something along the stationery line? Are you short of staplers?
Mia: No, I don't want something I need.
I want something I want. Something pretty.

The thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.
~Sam

Billy: I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
And I realized that, as dire chance and fateful cockup would have it, here I am, 
mid-fifties, and without knowing it, I've spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee.
And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact, you.
Joe: This is a surprise.
Billy: I left Elton's and a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open
in order to hang out with you at Christmas.
It's a terrible, terrible mistake, chubs, 
but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life.
And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.
Joe: Thank you, it's been an honor. I feel very proud.


Karen: Tell me, if you were in my position, what would you do?
Harry: What position is that?
Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace 
and, come Christmas, gave it to somebody else.
Harry: Oh, Karen...
Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace or if it's sex and a necklace,
or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love?
Would you stay?
Knowing life would always be a little bit worse?
Or would you cut and run?
Harry: Oh, God.
I am so in the wrong. A classic fool.
Karen: Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me.
You've made the life I lead foolish, too.















 


Daniel: Tell her, then.
Sam: Tell her what?
Daniel: That you love her.
Sam: No way. Anyway, they fly tonight.
Daniel: Even better.
Sam, you've got nothing to lose and you'll always regret it if you don't.
I never told your mum enough.
I should have told her every day because she was perfect every day.
You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over till it's over.
Sam: Okay, dad, let's do it.
Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love.





*****

Friday, December 21, 2012

GOTHIKA [2003]

Because Someone Is Dead 
Doesn't Mean They're Gone
Logic is overrated.
[Miranda]


He can have my body, but he will never have my soul. Never. The devil.
[Chloe]

You can't trust someone who thinks you're crazy. 
[Chloe]



[Pete]: I'm here - I'm trying to help you. Why don't you trust me?
[Miranda]: Because you can't trust somebody when they think you're crazy.





*****

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

JUST MARRIED [2003]

Welcome To The Honeymoon From Hell


I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage.
~Tom Leezak

Why the hell did we get married when we had loving each other so completely nailed?
Why does anyone get married?
Does it make sense to be with one person for your entire life?
People change. They grow.
~Tom Leezak

Tom: Are you sure that you don't wanna marry a guy like Peter?
Sarah: If I wanted to know exactly what my life would be from here on out, 
I would marry a guy like Peter.
But I love not knowing.
I love our messy loft... your beater car.
I wanna start a life with you.

Kyle: I hope she doesn't spook on you, man.
Tom: What do you mean?
Kyle: I love Sarah, don't get me wrong.
But rich chicks spook.
A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations.
Expectations are like a fungal rot on a marriage.
Tom: Our marriage is not gonna have a fungal rot.
We're gonna be happily married every day for the rest of our lives.

Sarah: We can catch the 2 o'clock train to Venice and go straight to the Gianna.
Tom: Our reservation isn't until Tuesday.
Sarah: So we'll stay a few extra days.
Tom: I just put an entire castle on my credit card.
We can't afford to stay at the Gianna for a few extra days.
Sarah: So, I'll call my dad up and he'll lend us the money.
Tom: No, there's no possible way I'm taking money from your dad.
Driver: Pride is the crutch of the insecure.
Sarah: You are not taking the money. I am taking the money.
Tom: No, we don't need to take the money. This is about us now.
Listen, my dad told me about this little pensione in Venice...
Driver: Pensione? Grobes Scheibhaus.
Tom: Excuse me, could you just drive?
Sarah: Please, just let me call my dad.
Tom: No! This our honeymoon, not his.
Sarah: So it's fine to just stay at a pensione that your father recommended?
Tom: But we're staying at the Pensione Funicello, and we'll gonna have a hell of a good time.
Sarah: I can't take this anymore!
Honeymoons are supposed to be all champagne, and room service, and lovemaking!
We haven't made love!
What do we get?
We get evicted from a 5-star hotel, and, to boot, I'm yelling at you!
We're yelling at each other!
We're not yelling at each other.
I'm the one that yelling.
I'm sorry...
I wanna go home.

My feelings for you were very, very strong, 
and I needed to know that they were real.
I wasn't brought up to manage feelings like that very well.
~Sarah McNerney

I was married for 27 years before my wife passed away.
Believe me, the first months are the most difficult.
~Bernardo Salviati

Tom: Do you know if my wife's up in the room?
Clerk: A good husband knows where his wife is at all time.
Tom: And a good maitre d' answers questions when he's asked.
[The Clerk threw the key to Tom]
Tom: Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer.
Clerk: In this case, you should.
[Tom gave him the money]
Clerk: Your wife is in a car on her way to Salviati's... with Mr. Prentiss.
Tom: Mr. Peter Prentiss?
[The Clerk nods. Tom gave him another money]
Tom: What's Salviati's?
Clerk: One of the oldest and most beautiful estates in Venice.
Maybe Mr. Peter will buy it.
Tom: Of course Mr. Peter will buy it.
All right, where is this place?
[Tom gave him another money]
Clerk: You can't go. You will be shot on sight.
Tom furious and handed him out another money: OK! When are they coming back?
Clerk: Your wife and Mr. Peter are out for the evening.
Tom: You know what?
I'm not gonna be waiting here for her when she gets back.
Oh, no!

Tom, as Sarah open the door: You slut!
Sarah: Excuse me?
Tom: You had your tongue down his throat.
I saw it out the window!
Sarah: Did you see me slap him, then?
Tom: Don't give me that!
Some part of you want him! Just say it!
Sarah: Fine, I'm not gonna lie any more.
Certain things would be easier, given his background.
And a small part of me thought that I wanted that once. A very small part.

[Sarah picks up the bra]
Tom: That's yours.
Sarah: Yeah, sure.
It matches perfect with my red leather panties! [hit him with the bra]
 Tom: Ok, I met a woman at a bar. Nothing happened.
Sarah: You picked up a total stranger at a bar, brought her back to our honeymoon suite, 
and took off her disgusting red bra?
Tom: Nothing happened, I swear.
Sarah: No, the bra just jumped off her bare naked breasts.
Tom: Sarah...
Sarah: You sit there and make me feel guilty for a kiss,
a kiss that I didn't even want for the first place!

You sat at our wedding!
You heard us take our vows.
And you still had the nerve to show up on our honeymoon and try to have sex with my wife?!
~Tom Leezak to Peter Prentiss

Tom: Maybe they were right.
Sarah: Who?
Tom: Everyone.
They said that we were too young, and that we needed to get to know each other better.
Maybe they were right.
Sarah: Maybe love isn't enough.

Tom: I feel like we've been married for 50 years.
Sarah: Oh, you should be so lucky.
Tom: Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel?
Sarah: Tell me what really happened with Red Bra?
I hope you used a rubber.
Tom: No, I didn't! It didn't get that far.
I hope Peter used one though.
Sarah: They don't sell condoms that big.

Tom: I just don't know if love is enough any more.
Mr. Leezak: What do you mean 'enough'?
Tom: I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other, 
maybe we did need more time to get to know each other.
Mr. Leezak: So, what you're saying here is,
you had a couple of bad days in Europe, and it's over.
Time to grow up, Tommy.
Some days your mother and me loved each other.
Other days we had to work at it.
You never see the hard days in a photo album.
But those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next.
I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk, but that's what you got dealt.
Now you gonna work through it.
Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy.
I saw how you love this girl.
How you 2 lit each other up.
She doesn't need any more security that that.



Look, Yuan, Willie, whoever else is listening...
You don't want me to be with Sarah, and I can't change that.
I don't know where we're gonna be in 10, 20, 40 years.
I don't know who we're gonna be.
I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of this.
There are a million things that I don't know.
But there's one thing that I do.
And that's that I love Sarah.
And I'm going to love her day in and day out for the rest of my life.
Now, will you please, please, open the gate so I can tell that to my wife.
~Tom Leezak



Tom: I'm sorry.
Sarah: Me too.
Tom: I miss you.
Sarah: I miss you, too.
Tom: I miss wrecking airplane bathrooms with you.
Sarah: I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball.
Tom: And torching hotels in Europe.
Sarah: I miss doing time in prison with you.
Tom: Do you wanna try to...
Sarah: Definitely.


*****