What If You Had A Universal Remote...
That Controlled Your Universe?
Trudy: Hey, Michael, who are you talking to?
Michael: I'm talking to my boss, Ma, take it easy.
Trudy: Oh, yeah? Well, tell him to get a life.
You got family here.
You're busy, come on.
Michael: Every choice I make, everything I do, I disappoint somebody.
Donna: Make sure you don't keep disappointing the wrong people.
Morty: You're looking for a universal remote control?
Michael: Yeah. Just one device to do it all for me,
make my life a little easier, quicker, not so damn complicated.
Michael: Where's the box?
Does it come with directions?
Morty: Not necessary.
Just point, click.
Eventually, it will program itself.
Morty: This item is non-returnable.
Michael: Why would I wanna return something I got for free?
You wanted a universal remote control that remote-controls your universe.
~Morty
Remember the leprechaun?
He's always chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
But when he gets there at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes.
~Morty
Michael: Morty, why did you do this to me?
Morty: You did this to yourself, Michael.
Michael: No, no, I didn't wanna waste all that time.
I didn't wanna lose Donna!
Morty: The remote goes by your behavior.
Every time you had a conflict between work and home, work won.
Michael: No, not true!
Morty: Lie to your wife. Lie to yourself.
But you cannot lie to the remote.
The remote is lie-proof, so you can't change what already happened.
Family comes first.
~Michael Newman
Michael, on note: Will you still love me in the morning?
Donna: Forever and ever, babe.
*****
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