MATILDA [1996]

Somewhere Inside All Of Us Is The Power To Change The World

Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same.
Some will grow to be butchers or bakers or candlestick makers.
 Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad.
One way or another though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse.
Most parents are believe that their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet.
Others take a less emotional approach.
~Narrator

Mr. Wormwood: A book? What do you want a book for?
Matilda: To read.
Mr. Wormwood: To read? 
Why would you wanna read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you?
There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.

Mrs. Phelps: You know, you could have your very own library card.
And then you could take books home and you wouldn't have to walk here every day.
You could take as many as you like.
4 years old Matilda: That would be wonderful.

Mr. Wormwood: Any packages come today?
[Matilda shakes her head]
Mr. Wormwood, kicks a pile of books: Where did all this come from?
Matilda: The library.
Mr. Wormwood: The library? You've never set foot in a library. You're only 4 years old.
Matilda: Six and a half.
Mr. Wormwood: You're 4.
Matilda: Six and a half.
Mr. Wormwood: If you're 6 and a half, you'd be in school already.
Matilda: I want to be in school. 
I told you, I was supposed to start school in September. You wouldn't listen.
Mr. Wormwood, drag her to his bedroom: Get up, get up! Give me that book! [throw away the book]
Mr. Wormwood, to his wife: Dearest pie, how old is Matilda?
Mrs. Wormwood: 4.
Matilda: I'm 6 and a half, mommy.
Mrs. Wormwood: 5 then.
Matilda: I was 6 in August.
Mr. Wormwood: You're a liar.
Matilda: I want to go to school.
Mr. Wormwood: School... Out of the question. Who would be here to sign for the packages?
We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep.
Now go watch TV like a good kid.
[Matilda walk away from the room]

Mrs. Wormwood: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Mr. Wormwood: Tell me about it!

Mr. Wormwood: The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320, I sold it for $1158.
The second one cost $512, I sold it for $2269.
Michael: Wait, Dad, you're going to fast.
Mr. Wormwood: Just write.
The third cost $68, I sold it for $999.
And the fourth cost $1100, I sold it for 7839 big American boffos.
What was my profit for the day?
Michael: Could you repeat the last one?
Matilda, from across the table: $10,265. [everybody staring at her] Check it if you don't believe me.
[everybody take a pick on Mr. Wormwood's note]
Mr. Wormwood: You're a little cheat, you saw the paper.
Matilda: From all the way over here?
Mr. Wormwood: Are you being smart with me?
If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're gonna be punished.
Matilda: Punished for being smart?
Mr. Wormwood: For being a smart aleck.
When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson.
Matilda: Person?

Mr. Wormwood: Transmission.
The sawdust quiets the gears, and lets the engine run as sweet as a nut for a couple of miles, hahaha.
Matilda: Daddy, that's cheating.
Mr. Wormwood: Of course it's cheating. Nobody ever got rich being honest.

Matilda: Daddy, you're a crook.
Mr. Wormwood: What?
Matilda: This is illegal.
Mr. Wormwood: Do you make money? Do you have a job?
Matilda: No, but don't people need good cars? Can't you sell good cars, Dad?
Mr. Wormwood: Listen, you little wiseacre...
I'm smart, you're a dumb. I'm big, you're little. I'm right, you're wrong.
And there's nothing you can do about it.

Mr. Wormwood: Are you in this family?
[turn off the desk lamp] Dinnertime is family time. What is this trash you're reading?
Matilda: It's not trash, daddy, it's lovely. It's called Moby Dick by Herman Melville.
Mr. Wormwood: Moby what? [start ripping the pages] This is filth! Trash! Here!
Matilda: It's not mine! It's a library book!
Mr. Wormwood: I'm fed up with all this reading!  You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one!
Sit up and look at the TV!

Trunchbull: I need a car. Inexpensive but reliable.
Can you service me?
Mr. Wormwood: In a manner of speaking, yes. Welcome to Wormwood Motors.
Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.
Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School.
I warn you, Sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship.
Mr. Wormwood: Oh yeah, huh? Well...
Trunchbull: "My school is a modest of discipline. Use the rod, beat the child," that's my motto.
Mr. Wormwood: Terrific motto.
Trunchbull: You have brats yourself?
Mr. Wormwood: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.
Trunchbull: They're all mistakes, children, filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one.

Lavender: The Trunchbull used to be in the Olympics. Shot put, javelin, hammer throw.
Hortensia: The hammer throw is her specialty.
Matilda: So she does this all the time?
Hortensia: Better than being put in the choky.
Matilda: Choky?
Hortensia: Yeah, the choky.
It's a tall, narrow hole in the wall behind a door. You have to stand in a drippy pipe with jagged edges.
And the walls have broken glass and nails sticking out.
Matilda: She puts kids in there?
Hortensia: I've been in twice. Sometimes she leaves you in there all day.
Matilda: Didn't you tell your parents?
Hortensia: They didn't believe me. I mean, would your parents believe it?

Miss Honey: Mr. Wormwood, I'm Jennifer Honey. I'm Matilda's teacher.
Mr. Wormwood: What has she done now?
Look, whatever it is, she's your problem now.
Miss Honey: No, there is no problem.
Mr. Wormwood: Then beat it. We're watching TV.
Miss Honey: Mr. Wormwood, if you think watching some rotten TV show is more important than your daughter, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent.

Mr. Wormwood: What do you want?
Miss Honey: I'm sure you're aware by now that Matilda has a brilliant mind.
Her math skills are simply extraordinary. She's reading material that I didn't see until my second year of college.
[Mr. & Mrs. Wormwood smirking cynical]
Miss Honey: I really feel, with private instruction that she'd be ready for college in just a few short years.
Mrs. Wormwood: Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligence.
I mean, take a look at you and me.
You chose books, I chose looks.
I have a nice house, a wonderful husband, and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABC's.
You want Matilda to go to college?
Mr. Wormwood: College! I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did.
Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen.
Miss Honey: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood.
If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.
Or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. The lawyer who defended you would've gone to college too.
Mr. Wormwood: What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?
Miss Honey: Nobody.
Oh dear, I can see we're not going to agree, are we?

My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all.
~Trunchbull

Trunchbull: You did this!
Matilda: No, Miss Trunchbull.
Trunchbull: Did you act alone or did you have accomplices?
Matilda: I didn't do it.
Trunchbull: You didn't like the choky, did you? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you?
Well, I'll pay you back, young lady.
Matilda: For what, Miss Trunchbull?
Trunchbull: For this newt, you piss-worm!
Matilda: I'm telling you, I didn't do it!
Trunchbull: Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm gonna punish you,
because I'm big and you're small, and I'm right and you're wrong.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat.
You're the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization.
Am I wrong? I'm never wrong.
In this classroom, in this school, I am God!

Lavender: Thank's for not telling.
Matilda: Best friend don't tell.

Matilda: I just stare very hard, and then my eyes get all hot, and I can feel the strongness.
I feel like I can move almost anything in the world.
You do believe me, don't you?
Miss Honey: Oh, I believe that you should believe in whatever power you think you have inside of you.
Believe it with all your heart.

Miss Honey: A girl I know used to live in that house. Her life was good and happy.
When she was just 2 years old, her mother died.
Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home,
so he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him.
But the girl's aunt was a mean person who treated the girl very badly.
Matilda: The Trunchbull.
Miss Honey: Yes. And worst of all, when the girl was 5, her father died.
Matilda: How did her father died?
Miss Honey: The police decided he'd killed himself.
Matilda: Why would he do such a thing?
Miss Honey: No one knows.
Miss Honey: The end is happier. 
She found a small cottage. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, 
and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers,
and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house and she finally got her freedom.
Matilda: Good for her.
Miss Honey: Do you know why I told you this?
Matilda: No.
Miss Honey: You were born into a family that doesn't always appreciate you,
but one day, things are gonna be very different.

Matilda: Why don't you run away?
Miss Honey: I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children.
And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all.
Matilda: You're very brave, Miss Honey.
Miss Honey: Not as brave as you.
Matilda: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything.
Miss Honey: Quite the contrary. All grown-ups get scared, just like children.

Mrs. Wormwood: We're moving to Guam.
Daddy's not gonna be in the auto business anymore.
Matilda: I don't want to leave.
Mrs. Wormwood: But we're going on a permanent vacation.
Mr. Wormwood: Yeah, and we gotta beat the speedboat salesmen to the airport.
Matilda: I love it here. I love my school. It isn't fair.
Miss Honey, please don't let them take me.
Mr. Wormwood: Get in the car, Melinda.
Matilda: Matilda!
Mr. Wormwood: Whatever!
Matilda: I want to stay with Miss Honey.
Mrs. Wormwood: Well, Miss Honey doesn't want you! Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?
Miss Honey: Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child, and I love her.
Matilda: Adopt me, Miss Honey. You can adopt me.
Mr. Wormwood: Look, I don't have time for all these legalities.
Matilda: One second, dad, I have the adoption papers.
Mrs. Wormwood: What? Where did you get those?
Matilda: From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to xerox.
Mrs. Wormwood: Are you hearing this, Harry?
Matilda: All you have to do is sign them.
Michael: I'll be an only child again.
Mr. Wormwood, to Michael: Shut up! 
[to Mrs. Wormwood] What do you think, pumpkin?
Mrs. Wormwood: You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda.
And I never understood you, not one little bit.
[awkward pause]
Who's got a pen?


*****