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Saturday, December 8, 2012

MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING [2002]

Love Is Here To Stay... So Is Her Family
Gus: You'd better get married soon
You're starting to look old.
Toula: My dad's been saying that to me since I was 15.
Because nice Greek girls are supposed to do 3 things in life; 
marry Greek boys, make Greek babies and feed everyone until the day we die.

You should be proud to be Greek.
~Gus Portokalos

Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband work in the family restaurant.
So, here I am, day after day, year after year, 30, and way passed my expiration day.
~Toula Portokalos

My brother has 2 jobs; to cook and to marry a Greek virgin.
~Toula Portokalos

I wish I had a different life.
I wish I was braver and prettier, or just happy.
But it's useless to dream, because nothing ever changes.
~Toula Portokalos

Maria: I'm gonna talk to him.
Toula: Ma, Dad is stubborn.
What he says goes, 'The man is the head of the house'.
Maria: Let me tell you something, Toula.
The man is the head, but the woman is the neck.
She can turn the head anywhere she wants.

Ian: Okay, Christmas... what do you do for Christmas with your family?
Toula: My mom makes roast lamb.
Ian: With mint jelly?
And...???
Toula: And..... I'm Greek, right?
Ian: Right.
Toula: So what happen is my dad and my uncles fight over who gets to eat the lamb brain.
And then my aunt Voula forks the eyeball and chases me around with it 
trying to get me to eat it, because it's going to make me smart.
So, you have 2 cousins.
I have 27 first cousins, just 27 first cousins alone.
And my whole family is big and loud,
and everybody's in each other's lives and business all the time.
You never have a minute alone to think because we're always together, just eating, eating, eating.
All the other people we know are Greeks.
Greeks marry Greeks, to breed more Greeks, to be loud breeding Greek eaters.
Ian: Wow...
Toula: I'm serious.
No one in my family has ever gone out with a non-Greek before. No one.
And you're... you're just wonderful.
But I just don't see how this is going to work out, so...
Ian: Work out? What's to work out?
We're not in a different species.
Yes, we come from different backgrounds 
and hey, here's some news about my life to this point; it's boring!
Then I met you, and you're interesting, beautiful and fun.
You've got a weird family, who doesn't?
I just want to spend some time with you.
I just want to spend a little time with you.

Gus: You sneak around all over Chicago but you never come here to ask me can you date my daughter?
Ian: I'm sorry, but ask you if I can date your daughter?
Sir, she's 30 years old.
Gus: I am the head of this house!
Ian: Okay, may I please date your daughter?
Gus: No!

Didn't I say it's a mistake to educate women?
But nobody listened to me.
Now, we have a boyfriend in the house.
Is he a nice Greek boy?
Oh, no, no Greek!
No Greek, a xeno!
A xeno with big long hairs on top of his head!
~Gus Portokalos

When I'm with you, I'm so happy.
But my family is so unhappy.
And our wedding should be this joyous thing,
but it won't be for them because it can't be at our church.
So let's just go somewhere.
~Toula Portokalos

Ian: I love you.
Toula: Why? Why do you love me?
Ian: Because I came alive when I met you.
Toula: But my family...
Ian: You're a part of your family, 
and I'll do anything, whatever it takes to get them to accept me.
Because you're my life now, you're my whole life now.
We're not going to skulk off and get married as if we were ashamed of ourselves.


[on Ian's baptism ceremony]
Nick: It's not so bad, huh?
 Toula: Are you kidding?
Any minute now he's going to look at me and go; 'Huh, right, you're so not worth this'.
Nick: Yes, you are.

Ian: I'm Greek now.
Toula: Thank you so much.

Ian, if you're going to be in this family, I'll get you some ear plugs.
Because The Portokalos women, if they're not nagging somebody, they die!
~Yianni

I've never seen my sister so happy.
If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident.
~Nick Portokalos

Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.
~Nick Portokalos

My village saw many wars.
Turkish, German... they all made a mess.
And my mother said, 'we're lucky to be alive.'
And I thought, 'we're not lucky to be alive.'
We're not lucky when they're telling us where we should live, what we should eat.
Nobody has that right.
And then I see you, and I see Athena and Niko.
We came here for you so you could live.
I gave you live, so that you could live it.
~Maria Portokalos

On my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, 
'Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom.'
~Maria Portokalos

Sometimes I'm afraid that it didn't happen.
I'm scared I'll wake up and still be buttering garlic bread waiting for my life to start.
But it did happen. It did!
And I figured out some stuff.
My family is big and loud, but they're my family.
We fight, we laugh and yes, we roast lamb in the front yard.
And wherever I go, whatever I do, they will always be there.
~Toula Portokalos


*****

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