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Saturday, April 28, 2012

THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE [2000]

It's All About... ME


The name is Kuzco... Emperor Kuzco.
I was the world's nicest guy, and they ruined my life for no reason.
~Kuzco



Kuzco: You're fired.
Yzma: Fired?
W-W-What do you mean, fired?
Kuzco: Hm, how else can I say it?
You're being let go, your department's being downsized,
you're part of an outplacement,
we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option.
Take your pick, I got more.

Kuzco: You got prettysweet little set-up there on top of that hill, don't you?
Pacha: Yeah, my family has lived on that hilltop for the last 6 generations.
Kuzco: Uh-huh. So tell me, where do you find you get the most sun?
Pacha: Oh, I'd say just on the other side of those trees.
When the sun hits that ridge just right, these hills sing.
Kuzco: Well, that settles it.
Pacha: Really?
Kuzco: Yeap, problem solved. Thank's for coming.
Pacha: That's it?
That's all you wanted me for?
Kuzco: I just needed an insider's opinion before I okayed this spot for my pool.
Pacha: Uh... your pool?
Kuzco, placed the palace miniatur onto Pacha's house miniatur: Boo-yah!
Welcome to Kuzcotopia, my ultimete summer gateaway, complete with water slide.
Pacha: What?
Kuzco: Isn't it great?
It's my birthday gift to me. [giggle] I'm so happy.
Pacha: Erh... I don't understand how this could happen.
Kuzco: Well, let me clear it up for you.
At my birthday celebration tomorrow, I give the word, and your town will be destroyed,
to make way for this.
So, if I were you, I'd pick up some change-of-address forms on the way home.
Pacha: But, but... where will we live?
Kuzco: Hm... don't know, don't care.
How's that?
When I give the word, your little town thingy will be bye-bye.



Pacha: Where's you come from, little guy?
Kuzco, as llama, hangover: No touchy.
Pacha, freak out: Demon llama!!!
Kuzco, shock: Demon llama? Where?
[llok around and see Pacha's llama, then they both scream]

Demon llama, take it easy.
I mean you no harm.
~Pacha

[getting tied-up at the tree branch, floating on the water]
Pacha: Uh-oh.
Kuzco: Don't tell me.
We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yeap.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: Bring it on.

Kuzco: But now that you're here, you will take me back to the palace.
I'll have Yzma change me back,
and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia.
Oh yeah.
Pacha: Okay, now look,  I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
I just think if you really thought about it,
you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
Kuzco: And why would I do that?
Pacha: Because... deep down I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village 
out of their homes just for you.
Kuzco: And that'sssss bad?
Pacha: Well, yeah.
Nobody's that heartless.
Kuzco, nod: Now take me back.
Pacha: What? Wait wait... how can you be this way?
All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you.
Kuzco: Uh, yeah, doy, me.
Everyone else in the kingdom gets it.
You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the programme, eh, Pacha?
Pacha: You know what?
Someday, you're gonna wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Kuzco: Thank's for that, I'll log that away.
Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.
Pacha: Looks to me like you're stuck out here.
Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.

Pacha, punch Kuzco: That's for going back on your promise!
Kuzco, kick Pacha: Yeah, that's for kidnapping me and taking me to your village,
which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way.
Pacha, plow Kuzco: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?
I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
Kuzco: Oh, boo-hoo, now I feel really bad, bad llama.
Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle,
and then all my problems would be over.
Kuzco: Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.

Pacha: You just saved my life.
Kuzco: Huh? So?
Pacha: I knew it.
Kuzco: Knew what?
Pacha: That there is some good in you after all.
Kuzco: Oh, no.
Pacha: Admit it.
Kuzco: Wrong.
Pacha: Yes, there is.
Kuzco: Nuh-uh.
Pacha: I think there is.
Kuzco: Nuh-uh.
Pacha: Hey, you could've let me fall.
Kuzco: Come on, what's the big deal?
Nobody's that hearless! [gasp]
Don't read too much into it.
It was a one-time thing.

Kuzco: Okay, I admit it.
Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been.
But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?
Yzma: Just think of it as you're being let go,
that your life's going in a different direction,
that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.
Kronk: Hey, that's kind of like what he said to you when you got fired.
Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony.

So, you lied to me.
You said when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing.
Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills, and I did not hear any singing.
So, I'll be building my summer home on a more magical hill.
Thank you.
~Kuzco


*****

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