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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

THE WEDDING PLANNER [2001]

His Big Day Is Her Big Problem


[seeing Steve picking out his colorful chocolate]
Mary: What are you doing?
Steve: I only eat the brown ones.
Mary: Because?
Steve: 'Cause I figure they have less artificial coloring cause chocolate's already brown.
Mary: That's very scientific of you, dr. Steve.

Mary: I don't know, Fran.
I've been so out of the dating-relationship loop.
Fran: You?
Mary: You know, those who can't do, teach?
Those who can't wed, plan.

[while they're dancing]
Mary: You told me your name was Steve.
Steve: It is Steve.
My last name is Edison.
Fran calls me Eddie. It's a nickname.
Mary: I have a better nickname for you.
How about common, cheating, sleazy...
Steve: If you're thinking...
Mary: What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers.
Steve: Okay... the day that you had the accident...
Mary: That was a special day.
Steve: It was.
I was running late.
I was meeting Fran and our wedding planner, which you turned out to be.
What's the odds?
Mary: Don't dance around the issue.
You didn't show cause you don't wanna get married.
I see it all the time.
Steve: You see what?
Mary: Why'd you tell your fiance you saved an old lady?
[Steve cannot answer her]
Exactly!
You think you want to get married, but you don't.
You're pitiful and confused, looking to get some hot pepper wherever you can.
Steve: Mary, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Mary: Then why did you go to the movies with me?
Steve: Why did Steve go to the movies with you? Let's see...
First of all, Steve likes the movie.
Steve had the night off.
Steve said, "Hey, you know what? A movie sounds good."
Plus he got an invitation.
Mary: Why is Steve referring to himself in the third person?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Mary: You think you can double- talk your way out, throw me off your scent?
I smell you!
Steve: And I smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Mary: What?
Steve: Yes. You said that before you passed put.
Mary: I did not!
Steve: You did too.
If anybody was looking to get some, it's M-A-R-Y.
Mary: You are hideous.
Steve: Then why'd you ask me to dance?
Mary: I didn't.
Steve: You did too.
Mary: I did not!
Steve: You said, "Would you like to dance?"
Mary: And even if I did, I'm not the one who's engaged.
Steve: It was a dance, whoop-dee-doo, it didn't mean anything.
Mary: Then why'd you almost kiss me?

Penny: There's only one good reason to quit a wedding is if you break the cardinal rule...
which is ridiculous because we both know you did not fall in love with the groom.
[Mary makes a guilty expression]
No! You didn't! Bad!
Mary: No, no, of course not!
I'd never get emotionally involved.
Never! Never!
It's the doctor.
Penny: I'm confused. Is it the doctor, or did you fall for the groom?
Mary: No, the doctor is the groom.
The groom is the doctor.
The doctor is Fran Donolly's fiance!
-
Dr. John: The dumpster girl is your wedding planner?
Steve: Yes. I'm in hell.
Dr. John: And I'm in heaven.
Now you can fix me up with her.
Steve: I'm not fixing you up, Dr. John.
Look, this is complicated enough.
-
Penny: You are one of the top wedding planners in this great, big, thriving metropolis.
Look on the positive side.
He got you to open up again.
Tank the bastard and move on.
You cannot tell me you would sacrifice your entire career over this!
-
Dr. John: You're not telling me that you think it's a mistake to marry Fran now?
Steve: No, I don't think it's a mistake to marry Fran.
Fran is great.
It's just that... what if what I think is great really is great,
but it's not as great as something greater?
-
Penny: You will go through with this wedding!
 Why?
Because you deserve this partnership. You've earned it!

Mary: You're right.
Penny: Of course I'm right!
Mary: Of course you're right.
-
Dr. John: Your feelings for her, that's not chemistry, that's anxiety.
It's nature.
Steve: It' natural.
Naturaalll. 
It's not chemistry, it's anxiety.
-
Mary: I can do this. I can plan this wedding.
-
Steve: And the feelings I have for Fran run deep.
It's not something that can be swept away in one night with one dance.
Dr. John: Not gonna happen.
Steve: What the hell was I thinking?
Dr. John: You were thinking wrong.
Steve: I was thinking wrong.
I was being a jackass. Come on, Steve.
-
Mary: And I can treat that jackass like any other faceless groom.
That's just what I'm gonna do.
Why?
Because he's nothing!
Because I love a challenge!
And because I am a goddamn professional!
-
Dr. John: So, you're gonna give me her number?
Steve: No, I'm not.

You want a confession in blood?
That night, at the movie, I was attracted to you.
I was. You caught me. I admit it.
Maybe I was a little unsure about the whole marriage thing, I don't know.
Maybe I was just being a guy and an opportunity presented itself.
Bottom line? I never thought I'd see you again.
Bottom line? Nothing happened.
Bottom line? Now, more than ever, I believe Fran is the one for me.
So, I would say, based on the evidence,
all your theories on love sound like the rantings of a bitter, cynical woman.
~Steve Edison

We met on the day of our wedding.
We couldn't even look at each other.
I was in love with another girl, and your mother wanted nothing to do with me.
She said I had big eye brows and a low IQ.
Anyway, one day I got very sick with scarlet fever and she stayed by my side.
She took good care of me.
For the first time, I appreciated her.
Then the appreciation grew to respect.
Respect grew to like.
Then like grew to love.
A deeper love than I could ever hope for.
~Salvatore Fiore

You need to learn patience.
Love can't always be perfect.
Love is just love.
~Massimo


Steve: I barely know you.
I don't know your dad's first name.
I don't know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses.
I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary.
But I know the curves of your face, and I know every feck of gold in your eyes.
And I know that that night in the park was the best time I've ever had.
Please say something.
Mary: I'm a magnet for unavailable men, and I'm sick of it.
It's simple.
I know Fran.
I respect her.
And she loves you.
So, beside your tux measurements, that's all I need to know.


I know I never done the right thing, I never say the right thing, and I act like a fool.
I know I say we're just buddy-buddy friends, but that would not be true to my heart.
So I ask you this one question.
And if you answer no, then I will leave you alone once and for all.
Be my wife, Mary Fiore, and I will take care of you and be true to you.
And like this house I built for your dolls, I will make sure you have a strong roof over your head.
If you answer is yes, then no one will ever love you as much as I love you.
If you answer is yes, you will make me the happiest man on the earth.
~Massimo

Salvatore: I look in your eyes and it hurts me inside.
This is not what you want. This is what I want.
Shame on me!
Mary: I'm so lucky to have a father like you.
But you're right.
Love isn't like some enchanted evening, isn't a fairy tale, or even love at first sight.
That isn't real life.
Massimo's a good man, don't worry, Papa.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm just all grown up now.

[while Mary picking up the colored chocolates]
Steve: Why are you only eating the brown ones?
Mary: Because someone once said that they had less artificial coloring,
because chocolate's already brown.
And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve: You kind of stayed with me.


*****

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