KUNG FU PANDA [2008]

Prepare For Awesomeness

We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

~Mr. Ping

One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

~Master Oogway

I love kung fuuuuu...

~Po

Master Oogway, pointing at Po: How interesting...

Tigress: Master, are you pointing at me?

Master Oogway: Him...

Po: Who?

Master Oogway: You...

Po: Me?

Master Oogway: The universe has brought us The Dragon Warrior.

Po: What?

Furious Five: What?

Master Shifu: What?

Mr. Ping: What?

Tigress: Forgive us, Master, we have failed you.

Master Shifu: No.

If the panda has not quit by morning, then I will have failed you.

Escape from Chorh-Gom prison is impossible.

One way in, one way out.

One thousand guards and one prisoner.

~Commander Vachir

Master Shifu: So you're the legendary Dragon Warrior?

Po: Ehhh... I guess so...

Master Shifu: Wrong! You are not The Dragon Warrior.

You will never be The Dragon Warrior until [point to the scroll]

you have learned the secret of The Dragon Scroll.

Po: Whoaaa... 

So, how does it work? Do you have a ladder, or a trampoline, or...

Master Shifu: You think it's that easy?

That I'll just hand you the secret to limitless power?

Po: No, I...

Master Shifu: One must first master the highest level of kung fu.

And that clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.

Po: Someone like me?

Master Shifu: Yes, look at you!

This fat butt [hit Po's butt], flabby arms [hit Po's arm]

Po: Ouch, there are sensitive in the flabby parts.

Master Shifu: And this ridiculous belly [hit Po's belly].

And utter disregard for personal hygiene.

Now listen closely, Panda.

Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you,

I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't.

Are we clear?

~Master Shifu

Viper: I don't understand what was Master Oogway thinking.

The poor guy's gonna get himself killed.

Crane: He is so mighty.

The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!

Mantis: When he walks, the very ground shakes!

Tigress: One would think Master Oogway would choose semeone who actually know kung fu.

Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.

Monkey: Or even see his toes.

You don't belong in The Jade Palace.

You're a disgrace to kung fu,

and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, 

you will be gone by morning.

~Tigress, to Po

Quit, don't quit.

Noodles, don't noodles.

You are too concerned with what was and what will be.

There's a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.

That is why it is called the present.

~Master Oogway, to Po

Master Shifu, torturing Po with his kung fu: The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it.

To take his strength and use it against him, until he finally falls or quits.

Po: But, a real warrior never quits.

Don't worry, Master, I will never quit!

Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size?

I mean, look at me...

~Mantis

Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know.

He wasn't just a student.

Shifu found him as a cub and he raised him as his son.

And when the boy show talent in kung fu, Shifu trained him. He believed in him.

He told him he was destined for greatness.

It was never enough for Tai Lung.

He wanted The Dragon Scroll.

But Oogway saw darkness in his heart and refused.

Outraged, Tai Lung laid waste to the valley.

He tried to take the scroll by force.

And Shifu had to destroy what he had created.

But how could he?

Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before. Or since...

~Tigress

And now he has a chance to make things right, to train the true Dragon Warrior.

And he's stuck with you, a big fat panda who treats it like a joke.

~Tigress, to Po

There are no accidents.

~Master Oogway

Master Shifu: I need your help, Master.

Master Oogway: You just need to believe.

Promise me Shifu, promise me you will believe.

Master Shifu: You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!

Po: Watch me!

[trying to step down the stairs, but Master Shifu manage to move Po away from the stairs]

Come on... how am I supposed to beat Tai Lung?

I can't even beat you to the stairs!

Master Shifu: You will beat him because you are The Dragon Warrior.

Po: You don't believe that... You never believed that!

From the first moment I've got here, you tried to get rid of me!

Master Shifu: Yes, I was!

But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

Po: You're not my master. And I'm not The Dragon Warrior.

Master Shifu: Then why didn't you quit?

You knew I wanted you gone, yet you stayed.

Po: Yeah, I stayed.

I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt,

but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life hust being me... not me...

it was you... the greatest kung fu teacher in all China.

Master Shifu: But I can change you.

I can turn you into The Dragon Warrior, and I will!

I vowed to train you and you have been trained.

You are free to eat.

~Master Shifu

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient of my Secret Ingredient Soup...

Come here... the secret ingredient is... nothing...

Po: Huh?

Mr. Ping: You heard me, nothing! There is no secret ingredient!

Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup?

You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?

Mr. Ping: Don't have to.

To make something special, you just have to believe it's special.

Po: There is no secret ingredient...

I have... I have always been proud of you.

From the first moment, I've been proud of you.

And it was my pride that blinded me.

I loved you too much to see what you were becoming...

what I... was turning you into.

I'm... I'm sorry...

~Master Shifu, to Tai Lung

*****

KING KONG [2005]

The Eighth Wonder Of The World 


Every time you reach out for something you care about
fate come along and snatches it away. 
But not this time, Annie. Not this time.
~Harry

 Good things never last, Mr. Denham.
~Ann Darrow

Carl: I keep telling you, Jack, there's no money in theater.
You're much better off sticking with film.
Jack: I don't do it for the money, Carl.
I happen to love the theater.
Carl: No, you don't.
If you really loved it, you would have jumped.

Hayes: If someone were to tell you this ship was headed for Singapore what would you say?
 Lumpy: I would say they're full of it, Mr. Hayes.
 Well, we turned southwest last night.
 Carl: Gentlemen, please, we're not looking for trouble.
 Jimmy: No. You're looking for something else.
Carl: Yes, we are. We're going to find Skull Island. 
 Find it, film it, and show it to the world.
For 25 cents, you get to see the last blank space on the map.
 Lumpy: I wouldn't be so sure of that.
Preston: What do you mean?
Lumpy: 7 years ago, me and Mr. Hayes were working our passage on a Norwegian bark.
 We picked up a castaway. We found him in the water. He'd been drifting for days.
 Lumpy: His ship had run aground on an island way west of Sumatera.
 An island hidden in fog.
 He spoke of a huge wall, built so long ago, no one knew who'd made it.
 A wall of 100 foot high, as strong today as it was ages ago.
Preston: Why'd they build the wall? 
Lumpy: Well, the castaway, he spoke of a creature, neither beast nor man,
but something monstrous, living behind that wall.
 Carl: A lion or a tiger. A man-eater. That's how all these stories start.
 Preston: What else did he say?
 Lumpy: Nothing. 
We found him the next morning, he'd stuck a knife through his heart. 
Carl: Sorry, fellows, you'll have to do better than that.
 Monsters belong in B movies.
Hayes: If you find this place, if you go ashore with your friends and your cameras, you won't come back.
 Just as long as you understand that.

 Jimmy: Why does Marlow keep going up the river?
Why doesn't he turn back?
Hayes: There's a part of him that wants to, Jimmy.
A part deep inside himself that sounds a warning.
But there's another part, that needs to know.
To defeat the thing which makes him afraid.
"We could not understand because we were too far and could not remember,
because we were traveling in the night of first ages,
of those ages that are gone, leaving hardly a sign and no memories.
We are accustomed to look upon the shackled form of a conquered monster
but there... there you could look at a thing monstrous and free."
Jimmy: It's not an adventurous story, is it, Mr. Hayes?
 Hayes: No, Jimmy, it's not.

 Baxter: Miss Darrow was a great gal, no question.
And she was a wonderful person.
It's a terrible loss and we're all gonna miss her.
Jack: I always knew you were nothing like the tough guy you play on screen.
I just never figured you for a coward.
Baxter: Hey, pal! Hey, wake up!
Heroes don't look like me, not in the real world.
In the real world they got bad teeth, a bald spot, and a beer gut.
I'm just an actor with a gun, who's lost his motivation.

 Hayes: If anything happens, I want you to run. You understand?
Jimmy: I'm not a coward. I ain't gonna run.
Hayes: It's not about being brave, Jimmy.

 Just as you go down for the third and final time
as you heard disappears beneath the waves and your lungs fill with water
do you know what happens in those last precious seconds before you drown?
Your whole life passes before your eyes.
~Carl Denham

Carl: You got a boat full of chloroform we could put to good use.
Englehorn: You wanna trap the ape? [laughing] I don't think so.
 Carl: Isn't that what you do? Live animal capture? I heard you were the best.

The whole world will pay to see this.
We're millionaire, boys! I'll share it with all of you!
In a few months his name will be up in lights on Broadway!
Kong, The Eight Wonder of the World!
~Carl Denham

 

Preston: He was right, about there still being some mystery left in this world,and we can all have a piece of it, for the price of an admission ticket.
Jack: That's the thing you come to learn about Carl.
His unfailing ability to destroy the things he loves.

Man: What does it matter? Airplanes got him.
Carl: It wasn't the airplane.
It was beauty killed the beast.

*****

SHALLOW HAL [2001]

True Love Is Worth The Weight!

[Hal]: See, the problem is I'm kinda picky 

[Tony Robbins]: What do you mean, picky? 

[Hal]: Well, for instance, I like 'em real young. 

Like, did you ever see Paulina in her first 'Sports Illustrated' layout? 

[Tony Robbins]: You're looking for a young Paulina type? 

[Hal]: Well, that face, but with better headlights. 

You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? 

Heidi Klums beams would do. And her teeth. 

Or, ooh, that Britney Spears girl. She's got great knockers. But she's a tad muscular. 

Uh, actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grille. 

Like, uh, Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did "Grease 2". 

But she'd have to be a little smilier than Michelle. 

Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. 

 Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. 

You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. 

You know what I mean. Someone like that. 

[Tony Robbins]: Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women? 

[Hal]: Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too. 

[Tony Robbins]: Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; 

Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain? 

[Hal]: Hmmm, toughie. What about the remaining breast? Is it big?

[Hal]: There's Rosemary. 

[Mauricio]: Where? 

[Hal]: Right there! 

[Mauricio]: Is she behind the Rhino?

[Rosemary]: Hal, do me a favor and stop saying that I'm pretty and that I'm not fat, ok? 

Cause it makes me uncomfortable.

[Hal]: Umm, ok. Do you have a problem with compliments? 

[Rosemary]: Look, I know what I am and I know what I'm not. 

I'm the girl who, you know, gets really good grades and who's not afraid to be funny. 

And I'm the girl who has a lot of friends who are boys and no boyfriends. 

I'm not beautiful, ok, and I never will be. 

And I'm fine with that. 

But when you go around saying I'm something that I'm not, it's just, it's just not nice. 

I saw the way your friend Mauricio looked at me; 

I thought he was going to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear. 

[Rosemary]

*****