THE PACIFIER [2005]

Welcome To The Infantry

From this position, it is relatively easy to manipulate your opponent. 
Thus we have the chicken wing, the arm bar, the crow bar 
and my personal favorite - the pacifier.

[Shane Wolfe]

When you're down and low, lower than the floor. 
And you feel like you ain't got a chance. 
Bom, bom, bom, Don't make a move till you're in the groove 
And do the Peter Panda Dance [clap twice] 
Just hop three times like a kangaroo 
Side-step twice just like those/the crabs do 
Three steps forward, one step back. 
Quick like a turtle, lie on your back! 
Roll like a log till you can't roll no more! 
Better jump up quick like there ain't no floor. 
Hold your breath, and jump/step/slide to the left. 
And that's the Peter, I swear that's the Peter, That's the Peter Panda Dance! 
Goodnight, Peter Panda!

[Shane Wolfe]

[Lulu Plummer]: Do you know Kung Fu?

[Shane Wolfe]: Yes. 

[Lulu Plummer]: Have you ever hit a guy so hard his head came off?

[Shane Wolfe]: No. 

[Lulu Plummer]: Why are your boobs so big?

[Shane Wolfe, shocked]: They are not... boobs.

[Lulu Plummer]: Do you have to wear a bra?

[Shane Wolfe]: What?

[Lulu Plummer]: Will mine be as big as yours one day?

[Shane Wolfe]: Isn't it about time you go nappy-poo in beddy-bye land?

[Lulu Plummer]: Do I look like I'm five?

[Shane Wolfe]: What did I say?

[Lulu Plummer]: Disrespectful. And to think I was interested in you.

*****

xXx [2002]

A New Breed Of Secret Agent

So, what's it going to be, Triple X? 

You want to get on a plane, or is 'Kiss my ass, Scarface' your final answer?  

[Gibbons]

You've passed the test. The Gibbons Test.

[Gibbons]

Why is it always the assholes who pass the test?  

[Gibbons]

I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.  

[Xander Cage]

My kind of people would say, 'Kiss my ass, Scarface.'

[Xander Cage]

I live for this shit.  

[Xander Cage]

Let's get this straight. 

You may not want me here, but I definitely don't want to be here. 

Two, I've never been under anyone's jurisdiction, 

and three, if you're gonna shoot anybody, shoot the monkey that sold you this suit.  

[Xander Cage]

That's clever. 

You know, you almost had me going there for a while. 

I was a bit groggy before, then I started noticing things. 

Like, you got a stockbroker over here, 

all dressed up reading the Financial Times on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. 

Unlikely, but okay, I can go with that. 

I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop-issue Beretta. 

But you want to know where you blew it? [points at waitress] With her. 

My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. 

There's no way in hell a career waitress comes to work in high heels. 

She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. 

And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. 

That's how I knew this bozo over here wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited till St. Patrick's Day. [fires shotgun at wall] Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. 

Oh, and no offense, but their performances were terrible.

[Xander Cage]

[Xander Cage]: I bet that flag is a real comfort every time you look in the mirror. 

[Gibbons]: A small price I paid for putting foot to ass for my country.

[Gibbons]: I want you to meet some people and find out whatever you can about them. 

[Xander Cage]: What kind of people?

[Gibbons]: Dirty. Dangerous. Tattooed. Uncivilized. Your kind of people.

[Yelena]: I've been undercover here for two years. 

[Xander Cage]: Two years? What was your plan? To let them die of old age? 

*****

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS [2001]

If You Have What It Takes... 

You Can Have It ALL!

*****