HAPPY FEET [2006]

 Everybody Dance Now


There is a wisdom, brothers and sisters, that stands above all others.

Never, ever, no matter what, drop your egg.

~Lovelace

Memphis: What you doing there, boy?

Mumble: I'm happy, Pa.
Memphis: What you doing with your feet?
Mumble: They're happy, too.
Memphis: I wouldn't do that around folks, son.
Mumble: Why not?
Memphis: It just ain't penguin, okay?

Memphis: So, when you see your mama...
Mumble: I stand perfectly still.
Memphis: You got it.
Mumble: But how will I know which one's my mama?
Memphis: Oh, you'll know.
She's got a wiggle in her walk, and a giggle in her talk.
And when she sings, it darn near breaks your heart.

Miss Viola: Today we begin with the most important lesson you will ever learn at Penguin Elementary.
Does anyone know what that is?
Anyone? Anyone? Someone? Seymour?
Seymour: Fishing?
Miss Viola: No. 
Mumble?
Mumble: Don't eat yellow snow? 
Miss Viola: No, that's not it, no. 
Gloria: It's our Heartsong, Miss.
Miss Viola: Thank you, Gloria. Excellent, yes. 
Without our Heartsong, we can't be truly penguin, can we?
 Class: No...
Miss Viola: But, my dears, it's not something that I can actually teach you. 
Does anybody know why?
Anyone? Anyone? 
Gloria: You can't teach it to us, ma'am, because we have to find our Heartsongs all by ourselves.
It's the voice you hear inside who you truly are.
Miss Viola: Yes, thank you, Gloria. 

 A penguin without a Heartsong is hardly a penguin at all.
~Miss Viola

 Mumble: I can leave school. I can go to work. The 3 of us.
 Memphis: Whoa, little fella, you ain't going nowhere till you got yourself an education.
 You get them singing muscles big and strong, you got that?
Mumble: I'll try, Pa.
Memphis: You bet you will.
The word 'triumph' starts with 'try', and it ends with...?
 Mumble: 'Umph'.
Memphis: That's right. A great big 'umph'. 

 You bring this stranger before me.
He doubts my powers.
He compares me to a skua. 
The voices are shrieking in my head.
They say, "Lovelace, who is this fool? Tel him, tell him to go forth and multiply!"
~Lovelace

 Gloria: I don't need an egg to be happy. Mumble: You say that now, but what about later when all your freinds have eggs?
 Gloria: Then I'll have you.

 Hello, hello from Emperor Land. Good afternoon.
Why are you taking our fish? 
I'm sure you don't mean to, but you're causing an awful lot of grief.
~Mumble, to human

 Noah: So, you dare come back?
 Seymour: He says he's found aliens and they're taking our fish.
 He says that they're coming and we all have to do this.
[start dancing]
Noah: There be no such thing as aliens!
Gloria: Mumble, turn around.
[Mumble turn around, everyone gasping at the device stuck on his back]
Is that from them?
Mumble: Yeah.
But don't be afraid. I think it's a way to find me, that's all.
 Noah: You lead them here?
You turned them on your own kind?
 Gloria: Wait a second, you just said there's no such thing as aliens.
 Noah: Well, there's not.
But if there were, only a traitorous fool would bring them here.
  Mumble: But they have to come.
They're the ones taking our fish.
They can do something about it. 
Noah: None but the Great Guin has the power to give and take away.
 Mumble: The Great Guin didn't put things out of whack, the aliens did.
Noah: A fool returns this day to mock our suffering.
We are starving and he wants us to hippity-hop.
So, do we hold fast to our ways, or do we bend to the fetid fantasies of a dancing fool?



***** 

JUST MARRIED [2003]

Welcome To The Honeymoon From Hell

I had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage.
~Tom Leezak

Why the hell did we get married when we had loving each other so completely nailed?
Why does anyone get married?
Does it make sense to be with one person for your entire life?
People change. They grow.
~Tom Leezak

Tom: Are you sure that you don't wanna marry a guy like Peter?
Sarah: If I wanted to know exactly what my life would be from here on out, 
I would marry a guy like Peter.
But I love not knowing.
I love our messy loft... your beater car.
I wanna start a life with you.

Kyle: I hope she doesn't spook on you, man.
Tom: What do you mean?
Kyle: I love Sarah, don't get me wrong.
But rich chicks spook.
A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations.
Expectations are like a fungal rot on a marriage.
Tom: Our marriage is not gonna have a fungal rot.
We're gonna be happily married every day for the rest of our lives.

Sarah: We can catch the 2 o'clock train to Venice and go straight to the Gianna.
Tom: Our reservation isn't until Tuesday.
Sarah: So we'll stay a few extra days.
Tom: I just put an entire castle on my credit card.
We can't afford to stay at the Gianna for a few extra days.
Sarah: So, I'll call my dad up and he'll lend us the money.
Tom: No, there's no possible way I'm taking money from your dad.
Driver: Pride is the crutch of the insecure.
Sarah: You are not taking the money. I am taking the money.
Tom: No, we don't need to take the money. This is about us now.
Listen, my dad told me about this little pensione in Venice...
Driver: Pensione? Grobes Scheibhaus.
Tom: Excuse me, could you just drive?
Sarah: Please, just let me call my dad.
Tom: No! This our honeymoon, not his.
Sarah: So it's fine to just stay at a pensione that your father recommended?
Tom: But we're staying at the Pensione Funicello, and we'll gonna have a hell of a good time.
Sarah: I can't take this anymore!
Honeymoons are supposed to be all champagne, and room service, and lovemaking!
We haven't made love!
What do we get?
We get evicted from a 5-star hotel, and, to boot, I'm yelling at you!
We're yelling at each other!
We're not yelling at each other.
I'm the one that yelling.
I'm sorry...
I wanna go home.

My feelings for you were very, very strong, 
and I needed to know that they were real.
I wasn't brought up to manage feelings like that very well.
~Sarah McNerney

I was married for 27 years before my wife passed away.
Believe me, the first months are the most difficult.
~Bernardo Salviati

Tom: Do you know if my wife's up in the room?
Clerk: A good husband knows where his wife is at all time.
Tom: And a good maitre d' answers questions when he's asked.
[The Clerk threw the key to Tom]
Tom: Look, I'm not gonna pay you for an answer.
Clerk: In this case, you should.
[Tom gave him the money]
Clerk: Your wife is in a car on her way to Salviati's... with Mr. Prentiss.
Tom: Mr. Peter Prentiss?
[The Clerk nods. Tom gave him another money]
Tom: What's Salviati's?
Clerk: One of the oldest and most beautiful estates in Venice.
Maybe Mr. Peter will buy it.
Tom: Of course Mr. Peter will buy it.
All right, where is this place?
[Tom gave him another money]
Clerk: You can't go. You will be shot on sight.
Tom furious and handed him out another money: OK! When are they coming back?
Clerk: Your wife and Mr. Peter are out for the evening.
Tom: You know what?
I'm not gonna be waiting here for her when she gets back.
Oh, no!

Tom, as Sarah open the door: You slut!
Sarah: Excuse me?
Tom: You had your tongue down his throat.
I saw it out the window!
Sarah: Did you see me slap him, then?
Tom: Don't give me that!
Some part of you want him! Just say it!
Sarah: Fine, I'm not gonna lie any more.
Certain things would be easier, given his background.
And a small part of me thought that I wanted that once. A very small part.

[Sarah picks up the bra]
Tom: That's yours.
Sarah: Yeah, sure.
It matches perfect with my red leather panties! [hit him with the bra]
 Tom: Ok, I met a woman at a bar. Nothing happened.
Sarah: You picked up a total stranger at a bar, brought her back to our honeymoon suite, 
and took off her disgusting red bra?
Tom: Nothing happened, I swear.
Sarah: No, the bra just jumped off her bare naked breasts.
Tom: Sarah...
Sarah: You sit there and make me feel guilty for a kiss,
a kiss that I didn't even want for the first place!

You sat at our wedding!
You heard us take our vows.
And you still had the nerve to show up on our honeymoon and try to have sex with my wife?!
~Tom Leezak to Peter Prentiss

Tom: Maybe they were right.
Sarah: Who?
Tom: Everyone.
They said that we were too young, and that we needed to get to know each other better.
Maybe they were right.
Sarah: Maybe love isn't enough.

Tom: I feel like we've been married for 50 years.
Sarah: Oh, you should be so lucky.
Tom: Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel?
Sarah: Tell me what really happened with Red Bra?
I hope you used a rubber.
Tom: No, I didn't! It didn't get that far.
I hope Peter used one though.
Sarah: They don't sell condoms that big.

Tom: I just don't know if love is enough any more.
Mr. Leezak: What do you mean 'enough'?
Tom: I mean, even if Sarah and I do love each other, 
maybe we did need more time to get to know each other.
Mr. Leezak: So, what you're saying here is,
you had a couple of bad days in Europe, and it's over.
Time to grow up, Tommy.
Some days your mother and me loved each other.
Other days we had to work at it.
You never see the hard days in a photo album.
But those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next.
I'm sorry your honeymoon stunk, but that's what you got dealt.
Now you gonna work through it.
Sarah doesn't need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy.
I saw how you love this girl.
How you 2 lit each other up.
She doesn't need any more security that that.

Look, Yuan, Willie, whoever else is listening...
You don't want me to be with Sarah, and I can't change that.
I don't know where we're gonna be in 10, 20, 40 years.
I don't know who we're gonna be.
I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to give her all of this.
There are a million things that I don't know.
But there's one thing that I do.
And that's that I love Sarah.
And I'm going to love her day in and day out for the rest of my life.
Now, will you please, please, open the gate so I can tell that to my wife.
~Tom Leezak

Tom: I'm sorry.
Sarah: Me too.
Tom: I miss you.
Sarah: I miss you, too.
Tom: I miss wrecking airplane bathrooms with you.
Sarah: I miss sleeping with you inside a snowball.
Tom: And torching hotels in Europe.
Sarah: I miss doing time in prison with you.
Tom: Do you wanna try to...
Sarah: Definitely.


*****