HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS [2003]

One Of Them Is Lying. 

So Is The Other.

Andie: God, I busted my butt in grad school to be Andie Anderson, how-to girl,
and write articles like, How to Use the Best Pick-Up Lines, 
and Do Blondes, Do They Live, Like, Really Have More Fun? 
I wanna write about things that matter, like politics and the environment and foreign affairs,
things I'm interested in.
Jeannie: Keep busting your butt. You're gonna get there.

Lana: What's next for How-To With Andie?
Andie: I've been working in something that's, kind of, different. It's a political piece and it's...
Lana: No. Andie, you work at Composure Magazine.
We are fashion, trends, diets, cosmetic surgeries, salacious gossip, that's Composure.
Andie: But...
Lana: Look, Andie, the column is new for you.
When you turn it into a must-read, then you can write about whatever you want.
Until then, you can write about whatever I want. Understood?

Andie: I'll do it.
Michelle: What?
Andie: I'll sort of do it. You will be my inspiration.
Lana: For?
Andie: Look at Michelle. She is a great girl, right? An amazing woman.
But she has a problem hanging on to relationships, and doesn't really know what's she doing wrong, which is like a lot of our readers.
So, I was thinking that I could start by dating a guy and then drive him away,
but only using the classic mistakes most women, like Michelle, make all the time.
I'll keep a diary of it, and it will be sort of a dating how-to in reverse.
Lana: What not to do.
Andie: Yeah. 
Lana: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Yes. Go.
Andie: Why 10 days?
Lana: 5 days is too short, and we go to press in 11.

Andie: Watch me. Tonight, I'll hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch.
Before the 10 days are up, I'm gonna have this guy running for his life.
Jeannie: You're not gonna burn his apartment down or bite him or anything, are you?
Andie: No. I'm gonna limit myself to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships.
Basically, everything we know guys hate.
I'll be clingy, needy...
Jeannie: Be touchy-feely.
Andie: Yeah.
Jeannie: Uh, call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you had to eat that day. [giggle]
Michelle: What's wrong with that?

Judy: Selling a diamond to a woman is like making her fall in love.
She has to feel giddy, desirous, adventurous and desperate.
Take a look around this room, Phillip, most of the women in this bar are looking for just that.
Ben: Exactly. The skills required to market diamonds are the same as those needed to make a woman fall in love, yes.
Judy: I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate. A woman in love wants diamonds.
Ben: I'm not talking about lust either, ladies.
I'm talking about deep, meaningful, head-over-heels, his-and-her towels, let's grow old together, L-O-V-E.
Look, I love women. I do. Whether they're 4 or 40 or my 88-year-old grandmother, 
I respect women, all right?
And I also listen to women.
And that's why I can sell myself to any woman, anywhere, anytime.
Judy: Make a woman fall in love with diamonds, Benjamin, or with you?
Ben: Either one.
Phillip: That's cocky, Ben.
Ben: No, not cocky. Confident.

Andie: True or false. All's fair in love and war.
Ben: True.
Andie: Great answer.
Ben: Good question.

[after lights some candles]
A diamond is no one-night stand.
A diamond is a long-term commitment.
~Benjamin Barry

Andie: Does Princess Sophia wanna come out and play?
Ben: Who's Princess Sophia?
[Andie points to Ben's crotch]
Ben: No, no, no,no,no! Wait, you're kidding me, right? Princess Sophia?
Andie: Little, big, little, big, I don't know, we will find out.
Ben: Hang on a second.
Listen, you can't name my member Princess Sophia. It doesn't...
Andie: Yes, I can.
Ben: If you're gonna name my member, you gotta name it something hyper-masculine, okay?
Something like Spike or Butch or Krull the Warrior King, but not Princess Sophia.
Andie: What did you just say?
Ben: Spike. You know what I mean?
Andie: No, no, after Spike.
Ben: Butch.
Andie: After Butch.
Ben: Krull The Warrior King.
Andie: Does Krull The Warrior King want to come out and play?
Come on out of there, Krullll
Ben: You know what? Due to intense humiliation, the king has momentarily abdicated his throne, okay?

Ben: Where is the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew?
The one who wanted to be a serious journalist, huh?
You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there.
You're like a freaking one-woman circus, Andie.
Andie: So I guess this means we're over.
Ben: Yeah, I guess so.

Why would I need to hit another woman when you've got more than enough personalities to keep me completely occupied.
~Benjamin Barry

Glenda: Andie, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here
because you have held Ben to his lowest Bullshit score since his tonsillectomy, and we are thrilled.
Andie: Why, were all his other girlfriends Bullshit losers?
Glenda: What other girlfriends?
You are the first girl he's ever brought home.
Don't you break his heart, now.

Phillip: I understand you've been an inspiration to Ben in more ways than one.
And I must say, you look rather inspired yourself.
There isn't a diamond in the room that sparkles like a woman in love.
Andie: Oh, no, no. I'm not in love.
Phillip: No? I guess I was mistaken.
Andie: No, no, no. I mean, I just... I mean, I've only known him for 10 days. I...
[sip her champagne embarrased] You can't... I can't be...
Phillip, smile: Ben is a very lucky man.

Andie: You used me to get ahead in your work, you arrogant, backstabbing jerk!
Ben: You drove me half insane for a goddamn magazine article.
Andie: And you told people you could make any girl fall in love with you,
and I, I was exhibit A.
Ben: So that's what I was, huh? I was a guinea pig? Somebody you could test your theories on?
Andie: Yeah, and I was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar.
Ben: Big deal! I'm sure now you can use it as a little twist in your story.
Andie: That's a good idea. Maybe we should bet on it.
Ben: You did your job now, Andie.
You wanted to lose a guy in 10 days, congratulations, you did it. You just lost him.
Andie: No, I didn't, Ben. Cause you can't lose something you never had.

Ben: Is this true? [hold up the magazine] Is this true or are you just trying to sell magazines?
Andie: I meant every word.
Ben: Well, where are you going?
Andie: I have an interview.
Ben: Yeah, in Washington, I know. Where are you going?
Andie: Ben, it's the only place I can go and write what I want to write.
Ben: No, I'm not buying that. You can write anywhere.
I think you're running away.
Andie: Why don't you save your mind games for your next bet, okay?
I am not running away.
Ben: Bullshit.


*****

THE WEDDING PLANNER [2001]

His Big Day Is Her Big Problem

[seeing Steve picking out his colorful chocolate]
Mary: What are you doing?
Steve: I only eat the brown ones.
Mary: Because?
Steve: 'Cause I figure they have less artificial coloring cause chocolate's already brown.
Mary: That's very scientific of you, dr. Steve.

Mary: I don't know, Fran.
I've been so out of the dating-relationship loop.
Fran: You?
Mary: You know, those who can't do, teach?
Those who can't wed, plan.

[while they're dancing]
Mary: You told me your name was Steve.
Steve: It is Steve.
My last name is Edison.
Fran calls me Eddie. It's a nickname.
Mary: I have a better nickname for you.
How about common, cheating, sleazy...
Steve: If you're thinking...
Mary: What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers.
Steve: Okay... the day that you had the accident...
Mary: That was a special day.
Steve: It was.
I was running late.
I was meeting Fran and our wedding planner, which you turned out to be.
What's the odds?
Mary: Don't dance around the issue.
You didn't show cause you don't wanna get married.
I see it all the time.
Steve: You see what?
Mary: Why'd you tell your fiance you saved an old lady?
[Steve cannot answer her]
Exactly!
You think you want to get married, but you don't.
You're pitiful and confused, looking to get some hot pepper wherever you can.
Steve: Mary, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Mary: Then why did you go to the movies with me?
Steve: Why did Steve go to the movies with you? Let's see...
First of all, Steve likes the movie.
Steve had the night off.
Steve said, "Hey, you know what? A movie sounds good."
Plus he got an invitation.
Mary: Why is Steve referring to himself in the third person?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Mary: You think you can double- talk your way out, throw me off your scent?
I smell you!
Steve: And I smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Mary: What?
Steve: Yes. You said that before you passed put.
Mary: I did not!
Steve: You did too.
If anybody was looking to get some, it's M-A-R-Y.
Mary: You are hideous.
Steve: Then why'd you ask me to dance?
Mary: I didn't.
Steve: You did too.
Mary: I did not!
Steve: You said, "Would you like to dance?"
Mary: And even if I did, I'm not the one who's engaged.
Steve: It was a dance, whoop-dee-doo, it didn't mean anything.
Mary: Then why'd you almost kiss me?

Penny: There's only one good reason to quit a wedding is if you break the cardinal rule...
which is ridiculous because we both know you did not fall in love with the groom.
[Mary makes a guilty expression]
No! You didn't! Bad!
Mary: No, no, of course not!
I'd never get emotionally involved.
Never! Never!
It's the doctor.
Penny: I'm confused. Is it the doctor, or did you fall for the groom?
Mary: No, the doctor is the groom.
The groom is the doctor.
The doctor is Fran Donolly's fiance!
-
Dr. John: The dumpster girl is your wedding planner?
Steve: Yes. I'm in hell.
Dr. John: And I'm in heaven.
Now you can fix me up with her.
Steve: I'm not fixing you up, Dr. John.
Look, this is complicated enough.
-
Penny: You are one of the top wedding planners in this great, big, thriving metropolis.
Look on the positive side.
He got you to open up again.
Tank the bastard and move on.
You cannot tell me you would sacrifice your entire career over this!
-
Dr. John: You're not telling me that you think it's a mistake to marry Fran now?
Steve: No, I don't think it's a mistake to marry Fran.
Fran is great.
It's just that... what if what I think is great really is great,
but it's not as great as something greater?
-
Penny: You will go through with this wedding!
 Why?
Because you deserve this partnership. You've earned it!
Mary: You're right.
Penny: Of course I'm right!
Mary: Of course you're right.
-
Dr. John: Your feelings for her, that's not chemistry, that's anxiety.
It's nature.
Steve: It' natural.
Naturaalll. 
It's not chemistry, it's anxiety.
-
Mary: I can do this. I can plan this wedding.
-
Steve: And the feelings I have for Fran run deep.
It's not something that can be swept away in one night with one dance.
Dr. John: Not gonna happen.
Steve: What the hell was I thinking?
Dr. John: You were thinking wrong.
Steve: I was thinking wrong.
I was being a jackass. Come on, Steve.
-
Mary: And I can treat that jackass like any other faceless groom.
That's just what I'm gonna do.
Why?
Because he's nothing!
Because I love a challenge!
And because I am a goddamn professional!
-
Dr. John: So, you're gonna give me her number?
Steve: No, I'm not.

You want a confession in blood?
That night, at the movie, I was attracted to you.
I was. You caught me. I admit it.
Maybe I was a little unsure about the whole marriage thing, I don't know.
Maybe I was just being a guy and an opportunity presented itself.
Bottom line? I never thought I'd see you again.
Bottom line? Nothing happened.
Bottom line? Now, more than ever, I believe Fran is the one for me.
So, I would say, based on the evidence,
all your theories on love sound like the rantings of a bitter, cynical woman.
~Steve Edison

We met on the day of our wedding.
We couldn't even look at each other.
I was in love with another girl, and your mother wanted nothing to do with me.
She said I had big eye brows and a low IQ.
Anyway, one day I got very sick with scarlet fever and she stayed by my side.
She took good care of me.
For the first time, I appreciated her.
Then the appreciation grew to respect.
Respect grew to like.
Then like grew to love.
A deeper love than I could ever hope for.
~Salvatore Fiore

You need to learn patience.
Love can't always be perfect.
Love is just love.
~Massimo

Steve: I barely know you.
I don't know your dad's first name.
I don't know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses.
I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary.
But I know the curves of your face, and I know every feck of gold in your eyes.
And I know that that night in the park was the best time I've ever had.
Please say something.
Mary: I'm a magnet for unavailable men, and I'm sick of it.
It's simple.
I know Fran.
I respect her.
And she loves you.
So, beside your tux measurements, that's all I need to know.

I know I never done the right thing, I never say the right thing, and I act like a fool.
I know I say we're just buddy-buddy friends, but that would not be true to my heart.
So I ask you this one question.
And if you answer no, then I will leave you alone once and for all.
Be my wife, Mary Fiore, and I will take care of you and be true to you.
And like this house I built for your dolls, I will make sure you have a strong roof over your head.
If you answer is yes, then no one will ever love you as much as I love you.
If you answer is yes, you will make me the happiest man on the earth.
~Massimo

Salvatore: I look in your eyes and it hurts me inside.
This is not what you want. This is what I want.
Shame on me!
Mary: I'm so lucky to have a father like you.
But you're right.
Love isn't like some enchanted evening, isn't a fairy tale, or even love at first sight.
That isn't real life.
Massimo's a good man, don't worry, Papa.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm just all grown up now.

[while Mary picking up the colored chocolates]
Steve: Why are you only eating the brown ones?
Mary: Because someone once said that they had less artificial coloring,
because chocolate's already brown.
And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve: You kind of stayed with me.


*****

CONTACT [1997]

If It's Just Us, 

It Seems Like An Awful Waste Of Space

[Young Ellie]: Dad, do you think there's people on other planets?

[Ted Arroway]: I don't know, Sparks. 

But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space.

[David Drumlin]: I know you must think this is all very unfair. 

Maybe that's an understatement. What you don't know is I agree. 

I wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line, 
where the kind of idealism you showed at the hearing was rewarded, 
not taken advantage of. 

Unfortunately, we don't live in that world. 

[Ellie Arroway]: Funny, I've always believed that the world is what we make of it.

[Executive]: We must confess that your proposal seems less like science and more like science fiction. 

[Ellie Arroway]: Science fiction. Well you're right, it's crazy. 
In fact, it's even worse than that, nuts. 

*angrily slams down her briefcase and marches up to the desk*

You wanna hear something really nutty? 

I heard of a couple guys who wanna build something called an "airplane," 
you know you get people to go in, and fly around like birds, it's ridiculous, right? 

And what about breaking the sound barrier, or rockets to the moon, or atomic energy, 
 or a mission to Mars? Science fiction, right? 

Look, all I'm asking, is for you to just have the tiniest bit of vision. 

You know, to just sit back for one minute and look at the big picture. 

To take a chance on something that just might end up being the most profoundly impactful moment for humanity, for the history... of history.

[Palmer Joss]: What are you studying up there? 

[Ellie Arroway]: Oh, the usual. Nebulae, quasars, pulsars, stuff like that. 

What are you writing?

[Palmer Joss]: The usual. Nouns, adverbs, adjective here and there.

[Palmer Joss, Ellie challenges Palmer to prove the existence of God]: Did you love your father?

[Ellie Arroway]: What?

[Palmer Joss]: Your dad. Did you love him? 

[Ellie Arroway]: Yes, very much. 

[Palmer Joss]: Prove it.

[Palmer Joss]: By doing this, you're willing to give your life, you're willing to die for it. Why?

[Ellie Arroway]: For as long as I can remember, I've been searching for something, 
some reason why we're here. What are we doing here? Who are we? 

If this is a chance to find out even just a little part of that answer... 
I don't know, I think it's worth a human life. 

Don't you? 

So what's more likely? 

That an all-powerful, mysterious God created the Universe, 
and decided not to give any proof of his existence? 

Or, that He simply doesn't exist at all, and that we created Him, 
so that we wouldn't have to feel so small and alone?

[Ellie Arroway]

Mathematics is the only true universal language.

[Ellie Arroway]

Is the world fundamentally a better place because of science and technology? 

We shop at home, we surf the web... 
at the same time, we feel emptier, lonelier and more cut off from each other than at any other time in human history... 

[Palmer Joss]

I'm not against technology, doctor. 

I'm against the men who deify it at the expense of human truth. 

[Palmer Joss]

As a person of faith I'm bound by a different covenant than Doctor Arroway. 

But our goal is one and the same: the pursuit of Truth. 

I for one believe her. 

[Palmer Joss]

*****

A TIME TO KILL [1996]

Experience a Time You'll Never Forget

What is it in us that seeks the truth? 

Is it our minds or is it our hearts?

[Jake Tyler Brigance]

And until we can see each other as equals, justice is never going to be even-handed. 

It will remain nothing more than a reflection of our own prejudices.

[Jake Tyler Brigance]

[Jake Tyler Brigance]: We're going to lose this case, Carl Lee. 

There are no more points of law to argue here. 

I want to cope a plea, maybe Buckley will cop us a second degree murder and we can get you just life in prison.

[Carl Lee Hailey]: Jake, I can't do no life in prison. You got to get me off. 

Now if it was you on trial... 

[Jake Tyler Brigance]: It's not me, we're not the same, Carl Lee. 

The jury has to identify with the defendant. 

They see you, they see a yardworker; they see me, they see an attorney. 

I live in town, you live in the hill. 

[Carl Lee Hailey]: Well, you are white and I'm black. 

See Jake, you think just like them, that's why I picked you; 
you are one of them , don't you see? 

Oh, you think you ain't because you eat in Claude's and you are out there trying to get me off on TV talking about black and white, but the fact is you are just like all the rest of them. 

When you look at me, you don't see a man, you see a black man.

[Jake Tyler Brigance]: Carl Lee, I'm your friend.

[Carl Lee Hailey]: We ain't no friends, Jake. 

We are on different sides of the line, I ain't never seen you in my part of town. 

I bet you don't even know where I live. 

Our daughters, Jake; they ain't never gonna play together.

[Jake Tyler Brigance]: What are you talking about? 

[Carl Lee Hailey]: America is a wall and you are on the other side. 

How's a black man ever going to get a fair trial with the enemy on the bench and in the jury box? My life in white hands? You Jake, that's how. 
You are my secret weapon because you are one of the bad guys. 

You don't mean to be but you are. It's how you was raised. 

Nigger, negro, black, African-american, no matter how you see me, you see me different, 
you see me like that jury sees me, you are them. 

Now throw out your points of law Jake. 

If you was on that jury, what would it take to convince you to set me free? 

That's how you save my ass. That's how you save us both.

[Lucien Wilbanks]: You wanted this case, well you've got it. 

It isn't easy saving the world even one case at a time, but you stick with it. 

You just might have a knack for it. 

Don't do what I did. Don't quit.

[Jake Tyler Brigance]: What are you talking about, quit. You're a hero Lucien.

[Lucien Wilbanks]: Hero my ass. 

Do you think the world needed me beating cops heads on that picket line. 

I was needed here. In that courtroom. 
And I let them push me, I gave them an excuse to kick me out and now I can never plead a case in there again. 

But you can. You're an attorney. Be proud. 

Your job is to find justice no matter how well she may hide herself from you. So you go on in there and you do your job.

[Jake Tyler Brigance]: I can't be you, Lucian.

 [Lucien Wilbanks]: Don't be me, Jake. Be better than me.

If you win this case, justice will prevail, and if you lose, justice will also prevail. 

Now that is a strange case.

[Lucien Wilbanks]

I can not promise you riches. 

What I can offer you the chance to save the world one case at a time.

[Lucien Wilbanks]

I want to tell you a story. 

I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. 

I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. 

Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. 

This is a story about a little girl walking home from the grocery store one sunny afternoon. 

I want you to picture this little girl. 

Suddenly a truck races up. Two men jump out and grab her. 

They drag her into a nearby field and they tie her up and they rip her clothes from her body. Now they climb on. 

First one, then the other, raping her, shattering everything innocent and pure with a vicious thrust in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. 

And when they're done, after they've killed her tiny womb, murdered any chance for her to have children, to have life beyond her own, they decide to use her for target practice. 

They start throwing full beer cans at her. 

They throw them so hard that it tears the flesh all the way to her bones. 

Then they urinate on her. 

Now comes the hanging. They have a rope. They tie a noose. 

Imagine the noose going tight around her neck and with a sudden blinding jerk she's pulled into the air and her feet and legs go kicking. 

They don't find the ground. 

The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and she falls back to the earth. 

So they pick her up, throw her in the back of the truck and drive out to Foggy Creek Bridge. 

Pitch her over the edge. And she drops some thirty feet down to the creek bottom below. 

 Can you see her? 

Her raped, beaten, broken body soaked in their urine, soaked in their semen, soaked in her blood, left to die. 

Can you see her? 

I want you to picture that little girl. 

Now imagine she's white. 

[Jake Tyler Brigance]

*****