KUNG FU PANDA [2008]

Prepare For Awesomeness

We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

~Mr. Ping

One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

~Master Oogway

I love kung fuuuuu...

~Po

Master Oogway, pointing at Po: How interesting...

Tigress: Master, are you pointing at me?

Master Oogway: Him...

Po: Who?

Master Oogway: You...

Po: Me?

Master Oogway: The universe has brought us The Dragon Warrior.

Po: What?

Furious Five: What?

Master Shifu: What?

Mr. Ping: What?

Tigress: Forgive us, Master, we have failed you.

Master Shifu: No.

If the panda has not quit by morning, then I will have failed you.

Escape from Chorh-Gom prison is impossible.

One way in, one way out.

One thousand guards and one prisoner.

~Commander Vachir

Master Shifu: So you're the legendary Dragon Warrior?

Po: Ehhh... I guess so...

Master Shifu: Wrong! You are not The Dragon Warrior.

You will never be The Dragon Warrior until [point to the scroll]

you have learned the secret of The Dragon Scroll.

Po: Whoaaa... 

So, how does it work? Do you have a ladder, or a trampoline, or...

Master Shifu: You think it's that easy?

That I'll just hand you the secret to limitless power?

Po: No, I...

Master Shifu: One must first master the highest level of kung fu.

And that clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.

Po: Someone like me?

Master Shifu: Yes, look at you!

This fat butt [hit Po's butt], flabby arms [hit Po's arm]

Po: Ouch, there are sensitive in the flabby parts.

Master Shifu: And this ridiculous belly [hit Po's belly].

And utter disregard for personal hygiene.

Now listen closely, Panda.

Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you,

I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't.

Are we clear?

~Master Shifu

Viper: I don't understand what was Master Oogway thinking.

The poor guy's gonna get himself killed.

Crane: He is so mighty.

The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!

Mantis: When he walks, the very ground shakes!

Tigress: One would think Master Oogway would choose semeone who actually know kung fu.

Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.

Monkey: Or even see his toes.

You don't belong in The Jade Palace.

You're a disgrace to kung fu,

and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, 

you will be gone by morning.

~Tigress, to Po

Quit, don't quit.

Noodles, don't noodles.

You are too concerned with what was and what will be.

There's a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.

That is why it is called the present.

~Master Oogway, to Po

Master Shifu, torturing Po with his kung fu: The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it.

To take his strength and use it against him, until he finally falls or quits.

Po: But, a real warrior never quits.

Don't worry, Master, I will never quit!

Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size?

I mean, look at me...

~Mantis

Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know.

He wasn't just a student.

Shifu found him as a cub and he raised him as his son.

And when the boy show talent in kung fu, Shifu trained him. He believed in him.

He told him he was destined for greatness.

It was never enough for Tai Lung.

He wanted The Dragon Scroll.

But Oogway saw darkness in his heart and refused.

Outraged, Tai Lung laid waste to the valley.

He tried to take the scroll by force.

And Shifu had to destroy what he had created.

But how could he?

Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before. Or since...

~Tigress

And now he has a chance to make things right, to train the true Dragon Warrior.

And he's stuck with you, a big fat panda who treats it like a joke.

~Tigress, to Po

There are no accidents.

~Master Oogway

Master Shifu: I need your help, Master.

Master Oogway: You just need to believe.

Promise me Shifu, promise me you will believe.

Master Shifu: You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!

Po: Watch me!

[trying to step down the stairs, but Master Shifu manage to move Po away from the stairs]

Come on... how am I supposed to beat Tai Lung?

I can't even beat you to the stairs!

Master Shifu: You will beat him because you are The Dragon Warrior.

Po: You don't believe that... You never believed that!

From the first moment I've got here, you tried to get rid of me!

Master Shifu: Yes, I was!

But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

Po: You're not my master. And I'm not The Dragon Warrior.

Master Shifu: Then why didn't you quit?

You knew I wanted you gone, yet you stayed.

Po: Yeah, I stayed.

I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt,

but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life hust being me... not me...

it was you... the greatest kung fu teacher in all China.

Master Shifu: But I can change you.

I can turn you into The Dragon Warrior, and I will!

I vowed to train you and you have been trained.

You are free to eat.

~Master Shifu

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient of my Secret Ingredient Soup...

Come here... the secret ingredient is... nothing...

Po: Huh?

Mr. Ping: You heard me, nothing! There is no secret ingredient!

Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup?

You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?

Mr. Ping: Don't have to.

To make something special, you just have to believe it's special.

Po: There is no secret ingredient...

I have... I have always been proud of you.

From the first moment, I've been proud of you.

And it was my pride that blinded me.

I loved you too much to see what you were becoming...

what I... was turning you into.

I'm... I'm sorry...

~Master Shifu, to Tai Lung

*****

BEOWULF [2007]

Pride is the Curse

 

 

 Hrothgar: I've let it be known that I will give half the gold in my kingdom to any man who can rid us of Grendel.

Unferth: My King, for deliverance, our people sacrifice goats and sheep to Odin and Heimdall.

 With your permission, shall we also pray to the new Roman God, Christ Jesus?

 Perhaps He can lift our affliction.

 Hrothgar: No, Unferth, no.

The gods will do nothing for us that we will not do for ourselves.

 What we need is a hero.

 

Beowulf: I am Beowulf.

And I'm here to kill your monster.

Coast Guard: I thought there were no more heroes foolish enough

to come around here and die for our gold.

Beowulf: If we die, it'll be for glory, not for gold.

 

 There have been many brave men who have come to taste my Lord's mead,

and many who have sowrn to rid his hall of our nightmare.

 But in the morning, there was nothing left of any of them

but blood to be cleaned from the floor, and the benches, and the walls.

 ~Wealthow

 

 I, Beowulf, killed atribe of giants on the Orkneys, crushed the skulls of sea-serpents,

and this troll of yours will trouble you no more.

~Beowulf

 

 

 One needs glamour to become a king.

 A man like you could own the greatest tale ever sung.

Your story would live on when everything now alive is dust.

~Grendel's Mother

 

 

You think you're the first to try to kill me, or the hundredth?

The gods will not allow my death by your feeble blade.

 The gods will not allow me to die by a sword, or be taken by the sea.

 The gods will not let me pass in my sleep, ripe with age.

 ~Beowulf

 

 When I was young,

I used to think being a king was about battling every morning 

and counting the gold and loot in the afternoon

and swiving beautiful women every evening.

But now, nothing is as good as it should have been.

~Beowulf

 

 Unferth: You had an agreement.

You would not be harmed.

But now the golden horn has returned to you.

The agreement is ended.

Beowulf: Who? Who said that?

Unferth: "The sins of the fathers!"

 That's the last thing I heard.

The last thing before my family was burned alive.

The sins of the fathers.

 

 Wealthow: Why don't you take that poor girl and live out your remaining years in peace?

 Let some young hero save us.

 Beowulf: What? And let the nightmare start all over again?

 No. I visited this horror upon my kingdom.

I must be the one to finish her.

Wealthow: Her.

 Was she so beautiful, Beowulf?

A beauty so costly?

 Beowulf: Beautiful, and full of fine promises.

I was weak.

I am sorry.

So, so sorry.

I have always loved you, My Queen.

Wealthow: And I you.

 

 Keep a memory of me, not as a king or a hero,

 but as a man, fallible and flawed.

~Beowulf

 

 

 

 

 

*****

Mr. & Mrs. SMITH [2005]

John: Let me say, we don't really need to be here.
We've been married 5 years.
Jane: Six.
John: 5, 6 years. And this is like a check-up for us.
Chance to poke around the engine, maybe change the oil. Replace a seal or two.
Marriage Councelor: Very well, then, let's pop the hood.
On a scale of one to ten, how happy a couple are you?
John: 8. Wait, 10 being perfectly happy and one being totally miserable, or...
Marriage Councelor: Just respond instinctively.
John: Okay. 8.
Marriage Councelor: How often do you have sex?
Jane: I don't understand the question.
John: Yeah, I'm lost. Is this a one to ten thing?
Jane: Because, like, one very little or is one nothing?
Because, you know, technically speaking, the zero would be nothing.
Marriage Councelor: How about this week?
John: Including the weekend?
Marriage Councelor: Sure.
...
Marriage Councelor: Describe how you first met.
Jane: It was in Colombia.
John: Bogota. 5 years ago.
Jane: 6.
John: Right. 5 or 6 years ago.

I love my wife.
I want her to be happy.
I want good things for her.
But there are times... [grunts]
~John Smith

Jane: There's this huge space between us.
And it just keeps filling up with everything that we don't say to each other.
What is that called?
Marriage Councelor: Marriage.

John: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: Yes, and you know what, Gladys tried to kill me. Not with a car.
At least Jane was a man about it.
But they all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, crippingly.
And then, wham! They hurt you.
You know how hurt I used to be? I used to beat myself up.
Now I'm great.

Okay, here's the upside. You don't love him.
You'll kill him, and nobody's better at that than you are.
And then it'll be over.
~Jasmine

Look at it, it's like 150 pages of a book have been written.
In the first 150 pages, Johnny's been a clown.
You can write the last 10 pages.
You've been smoked, but you can write the last 10.
~Eddie

 John: Don't tell me how to handle my wife.
Eddie: She's not your wife, she's the enemy!
She could be outside right now!

 It's never gonna work, honey, because you constantly underestimate me.
 You have no idea who I am.
You have no idea what I'm capable of. 
~John Smith

 Jane: So what do you want, John?
 John: We have an unusual problem, Jane.
You obviously want me dead.
And I'm less and less concerned of your wellbeing.
So what do we do?
 Do we shoot it out here? Hope for the best?
  Jane: Well, that would be a shame, because they'd probably ask me to leave once you're dead.

  John: You killed us.
 Jane: Provocative.
John: You approached our marriage like a job, to be reconned, planned and executed.
 Jane: And you avoided it.
 John: What do you care, if I was just a cover?
Jane: Who said you were just a cover?
 John: Wasn't I?
Jane: Wasn't I?

 John: First time we met, what was your first thought?
 Jane: You tell me.
John: I thought you looked like Christmas morning. 
I don't know how else to say it. 
Jane: And why are you telling me this now?
 John: Guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning.
 So there it is, I thought you should know.
 So how about it, Jane?
 Jane: I thought that you were the most beautiful mark I'd ever seen.
 John: So it was all business, yeah?
Jane: All business. 
John: From the go.
Jane: Cold, hard math. 
John: Thank you. That's what I needed to know. 

If you two separate from each other, you got a shot.
Not a great shot, Johnny, but a shot.
 You two stay together, you're dead.
Unless you can find something they want more than they want you.
~Eddie

John: Tell me, how many?
 Jane: Does it matter?
 John: Should I go first?
I don't exactly keep count but, I would say, high 50's, low 60's.
I've been around the block, but the important thing is...
 Jane: 312.
John: 312? How?
Jane: Some were 2 at a time. 

 John: Jane, there's no air around you any more.
Jane: What is that supposed to mean?
 John: It means there's no room for mistakes, no mistakes whatsoever. No spontaneity.
 Who can answer to that?
Jane: Well, you don't have to. This isn't even a real marriage.

 Jane: Let's just call this what it is. And what it isn't.
John: All right, so it's a crap marriage.
All right, I'm a mess, you're a disaster.
We're both liars. 
But you run, you'll always be running. 
I say we stay and fight. We finish this thing.
Then if you want to go, you can go. 

John: Damn, that boat in La Paz is looking pretty good right now, isn't it?
 Jane: It rains a lot this time of year.
 There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here, with you.

 Marriage Councelor: I'm interested in the progress you've made in the last few weeks.
 John: Doin' all right, aren't we?
I'm not gonna lie to you, there were times when I wanted to kill her, but...
Jane: Likewise. 
John: Couldn't take the shot.
Marriage Councelor: That's a good sign. Sometimes you have to battle through.
Jane: That's marriage, right?
 John: Yeah. Take your best shot and... 
Jane: Oh, we redid the house.
John: We did. Yes, we did. 
Marriage Councelor: You know there will always be challenges? Threats out there?
 But you can handle it together.
John: So far.
Jane: So far? [chuckles] What is that?
John: I'm leaving room for the unknown.
Jane: So far.
 Marriage Councelor: And do you feel your relationship styles are more conducive to this...
John: Ask us the sex question. [by his gesture] 10.



*****