50 FIRST DATES [2004]

The Ultimate Bachelor 

Will Face The Ultimate Challenge

Henry: I think she's a local girl. I wanted to go up to her but I was kind of off my game.
But man, was she cute, though.
Alexa: I thought you liked your bitches from out of state.
Henry: Yeah, that's usually my policy. Make sure I don't get tied down.
Alexa: Sounds to me like someone is afraid of commitment.

 Henry: I like your laugh.
Lucy: I like when you making me laugh.

Henry: What's happening here? Is she crazy or something?
Sue: Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people.
About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident.
She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple.
Her father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury.
She lost her short-term memory.
Henry: So she can't remember anything?
Sue: No, no, no. She has all of her long-term memory.
That's a different part of the brain.
Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers.
She just can't retain any new information.
It's like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps.
Henry: Hold on, this sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl, so she'd stop calling me.
Am I the psycho girl?
Sue: I wish I was making this up. She has no memory that she ever met you.
Henry: What about the pineapple-picking thing?
Sue: She says that every day, because each morning she wakes up thinking it's October 13th of last year.
She comes here for breakfast because that's what she did on Sundays, and October 13th was a Sunday.
She has no idea it's more than a year later.
Henry: She reads the newspaper.
Sue: It's a special paper her father puts on their porch every night.
It's from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed up.
Lucy does the same thing every day.

Henry: And this is what happens every single day.
Ula: How long it gonna take for her memory to come back?
Henry: Her doctors say it may never come back.
Ula: So basically, what you're saying is... she's the perfect girl for you.
Henry: What do you mean?
Ula: You can hang out all day with no attachment, because...
Henry: Her plane leaves every night? There's a problem with that.
Ula: What is?
Henry: It's evil.

It's my Father and I work too hard to protect Lucy to let some idiot ruin it all.
~Doug

If you know her condition, you know she can't have a normal relationship with the man.
Because the next morning, she won't know who he is.
And any guy who's okay with that, ain't okay with me.
~Marlin

Henry: Can I ask you guys something?
What's gonna happen down the line? 
Someday she'll wake up, look in the mirror and notice she aged 10 years overnight.
Marlin: You know something, Henry?
I worry about that every damn day of my life.

Henry: It's gonna be all right, Luce.
Lucy: Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.
Marlin: Sweetie, you're sort of dating him.
Lucy, gasp: But, I...
Henry: Sorry I'm not better-looking.
Lucy: What else happened since last October?
What about my students?
Marlin: Miss Campbell took over your class.
Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy?
Marlin: Yeah.
Lucy: Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaii contest?
Doug: I didn't know there was gonna be a urine test.
Lucy, to Henry: Do we have sex?
[everybody stares at him]
Henry: No, we don't. Just so everybody knows that.

Tammy: So you must be Lucy's friend, the one who made the tape.
Lucy: I think he's more than my friend. You're my boyfriend, right?
Henry: Yes, ma'am.
Alicia: So, every day you help her to realize what happened and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it,
then get her to fall in love with you again?
Henry: Yes, ma'am.
Alicia: Gosh.
[hit her husband] You asshole! You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore.

Lucy: Do you love me?
Henry: Wow... Well, love is a very loaded word.
I go to this restaurant every morning, and I see you there, reading.
And... I love you very much.
Probably more than anybody could love another person.

The Hukilau was the place.
Where I first saw your face.
We liked each other right away.
But you didn't remember me the very next day.
Forgetful Lucy, has got a nice caboose-y.
I used to trick you into pulling your car over so we could chat.
But my favorite time was when you beat the shit out of Ula with a bat.
And we drove up to see Dr. Keats.
And found out why Doug always has to change his sheets. 
Forgetful Lucy, cracked her head like Garu Busey.
But I still love her so, and I'll never let her go.
Even if while I'm singing this song, she's wishing I had Jocko the walrus' schlong.
Forgetful Lucy, her lips are so damn juicy.
How about another first kiss.

Henry: Lucy, will you marry me?
Lucy: Of course.
Henry: Good. Don't forget about me.
Lucy: Never.

Doug: Did you tell Lucy about this trip?
Henry: Actually, there's nothing to tell because I decided not to go.
I mean, Lucy needs me here.
I'm just worried about going away for a year and ruining all the progress she's made.
I know you think I'm crazy, but I think deep down inside she's starting to remember who I am.
Dr. Keats: No, Henry.
That's what you want to believe. It's what we all want to believe.
But it's not gonna happen.

Lucy: I was so nervous to come here
and meet the guy that makes me fall in love with him every day.
Henry: You probably thought I couldn't live up to the hype.
Lucy: No, I was nervous because I came here to break up with you.
You had plans and a life before you met me
and now all you have time for is to make me fall in love with you every day.
I look at my dad and my brother's lives and I won't do that to you.
Henry: What do you want me to do? Be some chapter in your scrapbook and go?
Lucy: No. My plan is to erase you completely so it's as if you never existed.
Henry: Why are you doing this?
Lucy: Because you have to understand that there is no future with me.
Don't you want to have a career and marriage and children?
Henry: I asked you to marry me last night. You said yes.
Kids? Yeah, I'd love to do it.
Lucy: But, how is that going to work?
I'm gonna wake up every morning with an enormous pregnant belly 
and no memory of how it happened?

Lucy: I don't know who you are, Henry, but I dream about you almost every night.
Why?
Henry: What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day
used to have a lot of stuff about me in it?
Lucy: I would say that that makes a lot of sense.
Henry: You erased me from your memories
because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life.
But you made a mistake.
Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life.
You're the girl of my dreams and apparently I'm the man of yours.

*****

RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS [2001]

The Story Of A Girl Who Did Everything Wrong, 

But Got Everything Right

Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. 

Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. 

That doesn't make you a bad person. 

It just means your heart's too big.

[Fay]

[Raymond Hasek]: Please marry me, Bev. Because I'm shit without you.

[Beverly]: Oh how romantic... a marriage proposal that contains the word 'shit.'

There on a wind-swept bluff, he stands waiting. 

The man of your dreams. 

The man that will love you more than anything else for the rest of your life. 

You run to each other. 

Your bodies, your lips, they're coming closer, and closer together, until finally, you kiss. 

[Beverly, age 11]

Dear mom and pop, the immediate prospect of your reading this letter so shatters my spirit, it makes me a stranger to myself. 

Your fears over my behavior, which I thought arbitrary and unreasonably restrictive, seem now the stuff of wisdom. 

I have terrible news I'm withholding from you. 

But now, like the poison from an adder's tongue, I have to spit it out. 

I am pregnant.

[Beverly]

You say that you can't quit. I believe you. 

But if you stay and you ruin our lives, and you know that you will, then it's my fault. 

Do you want me to live that?

[Beverly]

 Remember, I am your mother. 

And that means you're not allowed to stay mad at me. 

[Beverly to young Jason]

[Beverly]: I'm a horrible mother! 

[Jason, age 6]: Yeah... 

[Jason]: Who says I'm in one piece? 

[Beverly]: You're the most normal person I know. 

[Jason]: Normal? Normal? 

Amelia was in New York two weeks ago. 

She wants me to transfer. She wants me to enroll in her school. 

But I can't go. I can't leave you. 

Cause if something bad happens... [crying] it's my fault. 

I'm what went wrong in your life. 

You know, you wrote a book about it. 

I swore I wouldn't - 

Did you know that I love Amelia? 

Don't worry, she left already. 

Here's the funny thing. 

She thinks I can't love her because she can't make me happy... and damn it, she's the only good thing in my life. 

I'm just incredibly screwed up. 

Just so we're real clear about this, I blame you. 

[Beverly]: When does this job ever end? 

[Jason]: You call it a job? 

[Beverly]: Well, what do you think it is? A calling?

*****

CHARLIE'S ANGELS [2000]

Get Some Action

Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. 

My name is Charlie. 

[Charlie]

Never send a man to do a woman's job.  

[Vivian Wood]

You're a woman, you've got female intuition, 'and' you're a detective... 

and you didn't know this was going to happen?

[Eric Knox]

I said, 'Look, lady, it's not the seats that have gotten smaller, 

it's your ass that has gotten bigger.'

[Flight Attendant]

*****

EVER AFTER: A CINDERELLA STORY [1998]

Desire Defy Escape

Perhaps you will allow me to set the record straight?
~Grande Dame

King Francis: I signed a marriage treaty with The King of Spain,
and that boy will obey me or there will be hell to pay.
Queen Marie: But he does not love her, my lord.
King Francis: It's not about love.
Queen Marie: Perhaps it should be.
King Francis: If he is to become aking, he must accpet his responsibilities.
Queen Marie: A sappling cannot grow in the shadow of a mighty oak, Francis.
He needs sunlight.
King Francis: He needs a good whipping.

Danielle: We have other horses, Highness.
Younger, if that is your wish.
Prince Henry: I wish for nothing more than to be free of my gilded cage.

It is your manner that offends, Danielle.
Throughout these hard times, I have sheltered you and cared for you.

All that I ask in return is that you help me here without complaint.
Is that such an extraordinary request?
~Rodmilla

If you're going to be a noblewoman, you must play the part.
You look down to no one.
~Gustave

Prince Henry: I thought... I'd see the world before I gave up my life to God and country.
Leonardo da Vinci: Why on earth did you stop?

Danielle: A servant is not a thief, Your Highness,
and those who are cannot help themselves.
Prince Henry: Really? Well, then, by all means... enlighten us.
Danielle: If you suffer your people to be ill-educated
and their manners corrupted from infancy...
and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them,
what else to be concluded, Sire,
but that you first make thieves and then punish them?

Prince Henry: Have we met?
Danielle: I do not believe so, Your Highness.
Prince Henry: I could have sworn I knew every courtier in the province.
Danielle: Well, I'm visiting a cousin.
Prince Henry: Who?
Danielle: My cousin.
Prince Henry: Yes, you said that, which one?
Danielle: The only one I have, Sire.
Prince Henry: Are you coy on purpose or do you honestly refuse to tell me your name?
Danielle: No! And yes...
Prince Henry: Well then, pray,
tell me your cousin's name so I might call upon her to learn who you are.
Anyone who can quote Thomas More is well worth to effort.
Danielle: The Prince has read Utopia?
Prince Henry: I found it sentimental and dull.
I confess the plight of the everyday rustic bores me.
Danielle: I gather you do not converse with many peasants.
Prince Henry: Huh, certainly not, no, naturally!
Danielle: Excuse me, Sire, but there is nothing natural about it.
A country's character is defined by its everyday rustics, as you call them.
They are the legs you stand on.
The position demands respect, not...
Prince Henry: Am I to understand that you find me arrogant?
Danielle: Well, you gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?

Queen Marie: Sweetheart, you were born to privilege,
and with that comes specific obligations.
Prince Henry: Forgive me, Mother,
but marriage to a complete stranger never made anyone in this room very happy.

Prince Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Prince Henry: How can you be certain to find them?
And if you find them, are they really the one for you, or do you only think they are?
And what happens if the person you're meant to be with never appears?
Or she does, but... but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Prince Henry: Then, let's say, God puts two people on earth,
and they are lucky enough to find one another.
But... one of them gets hit by lightning.
Well, then what? Is that it?
Or perchance you meet someone new and marry all over again.
Is that the lady you should be with? Or was it the first?
When the two of them are side by side, were they both the one for you,
and you just met the first one first,
or the second one supposed to be first?
And is everything just chance, or are some things meant to be?
Leonardo da Vinci: You cannot leave everything to fate, boy.
She's got a lot to do.
Sometimes you must give her a hand.

Prince Henry: Where are your attendants?
Danielle: I decided to give them the day off.
Prince Henry: A day off? [laughing] From what? Life?
Danielle: Don't you ever tired of people waiting on you all the time?
Prince Henry: Yes, but, they're servants, it's what they do.
Danielle: I wish I could dismiss mine as easily as you do yours.
I must be going.
Prince Henry: You're angry with me.
Danielle: No.
Prince Henry: Admit it!
Danielle: Well, yes, if you must know.
Prince Henry: Why?
Danielle: Because you are trying to bait me with your snobbery.
Prince Henry: I'm afraid mademoiselle, you are a walking contradiction,
and I find that rather fascinating.
Danielle: Me?
Prince Henry: Yes, you.
You spout the ideals of a Utopia sicoety, yet you live the life of a courtier.
Danielle: And you own all the land there is, yet you take no pride in working it.
Is that not also a contradiction?
Prince Henry: First I'm arrogant, and now I have no pride.
However do I manage that?
Danielle: You have everything and still the world holds no joy.
Yet you make fun those who would see it for its possibilities.
Prince Henry: How do you do it?
Danielle: What?
Prince Henry: Live each day with this kind of passion?
Don't you find it exhausting?
Danielle: Only when I'm around you.
Why do you like to irritate me so?
Prince Henry: Why do you rise to the occasion?

Rodmilla: You have so much of your father in you.
Sometimes I can almost see him looking out through your eyes.
Danielle: Really?
Rodmilla: Yes, well, your feature are so... masculine.
Well, to be raised by a man, no wonder you're built for hard labor.

When I was young, my father would stay up late and read to me.
He was addicted to the written world.
I would fall asleep listening to the sound of his voice.
Science, philosophy... I suppose they remind me of him.
He died when I was 8.
Utopis was the last book he brought home.
I would rather hear his voice again than any sound in the world.
~Danielle de Barbarac

In all my years of study, 
not one tutor ever demonstrated the passion you have shown me in the last 2 days.
You have more conviction in one memory, than I have in my entire being.
~Prince Henry

Prince Henry: You swim alone, climb rocks, rescue servants...
Is there anything you don't do?
Danielle: Fly...

Danielle: I insist you return my things at once.
And since you deprive me of my escort, I demand a horse as well.
Gypsy Leader: Milady, you may have anything you can carry.
Danielle: May I have your word on that, sir?
Gypsy Leader: On my honor as a gypsy, whatever you can carry.
[Danielle carry Prince Henry on her back]

Prince Henry: I have no desire to be a king.
Danielle: But think of all the wonderful things you could do, for your country, for the world.
Prince Henry: Yes, but to be so defined by your position.
To only be seen as what you are, you have no idea how insufferable that is!
Danielle: You might be surprised.
Prince Henry: Really?
Danielle: A gypsy, for example, is rarely painted as anything else.
They defined by their status as you are, yet it is not who they are.
You have been born to privilege, and with that come specific obligations.

[disturbing his parents sleep]
Prince Henry: Mother, Father, I want to build a university,
with the largest library in the continent where anyone can study no matter their station.
King Francis: Allright, who are you and what have you done with our son?

[Marguerite try on Danielle's mother gown]
Danielle: What do you think you're doing?
Marguerite: Trying on my dress.
Rodmilla: Do you think that after that perform this morning I'd let you go anywhere?
Danielle: Do you honestly think these games and intrigues are going to win you a crown?
To hunt royalty like some sport?
It's disgusting!
Marguerite: You're just jealous!
Danielle, grab her mother's shoes: These are my mother's.
Marguerite, mocking: Yes... and she's dead.
[Danielle punch her on the face]

Rodmilla: Of all the insidious jokes, turning your mother into a countess
it's almost as absurd as a prince frequenting a servant who sleeps with pigs!
Danielle: What bothers you, stepmother, that I am common or that I am competition?
Rodmilla: Where is the dress, Danielle?
Danielle: I don't know what you're talking about.
Marguerite: The gown, the slippers?
They were in my room this morning and now they're gone.
You hid them, I know it!
Rodmilla: Where did you put the gown, Danielle?
Danielle: Where are the candlesticks, and the tapestries, and the silver???
Perhaps the dress is with them!
Rodmilla: You produce that gown!
Danielle: I would rather die a thousand deaths,
than to see my mother's dress on that spoiled selfish cow!

Gustave: Maurice said the Prince was expecting you.
Danielle: He is expecting someone who does not exist.
[to Leonardo da Vinci] Signore, my name is Danielle de Barbarac,
and I am but a servant.
Leonardo da Vinci: And I'm the bastard son of a peasant, what is that to do with anything?
Danielle: I have deceived him.
Leonardo da Vinci: The Prince will understand.

Danielle: How can I face him?
Leonardo da Vinci: Because he deserves to hear the truth from the one he loves.
Danielle: A bird may love a fish, signore... but where would they live?
Leonardo da Vinci: Then I shall have to make you wings.

[Rodmilla tore one of Danielle's wing]
Rodmilla: How dare you!
Prince Henry: Madame, contain yourself!
Rodmilla: She's an imposter, Sire!
Danielle: No!
Rodmilla: Her name is Danielle de Barbarac.
She has been my servant for the past 10 years.
King Francis: A servant, Henry? Is this some kind of joke?
Prince Henry: Baroness, you are on dangerous ground!
Rodmilla: Ask her yourself!
She's a grasping, devious little pretender,
and it is my duty, Your Highness, to expose her as the covetous hoax she is.
Prince Henry, to Danielle: Tell these women who you are.
Tell them...
Rodmilla, to Danielle: Bow before royalty, you insolent fraud!
Prince Henry: My God, it can't be true!
Nicole?
Danielle, crying: Nicole de Lancroix was my mother.
I am what she says.

Leonardo da Vinci: What have you done?
Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege and with that come specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit!
Prince Henry: You're out of line, old man.
Leonardo da Vinci: No, you are out of line.
Have you any idea what she went through to get here tonight?
Prince Henry: She lied to me.
Leonardo da Vinci: She came to tell you the truth and you fed her to the wolves.
Prince Henry: What do you know?
You build flying machines and walk on water, and yet you know nothing about life!
Leonardo da Vinci: I know that a life without love is no life at all.
Prince Henry: And love without trust? What of that?
Leonardo da Vinci: She's your match, Henry.
Prince Henry: I am but a servant to my crown and I have made my decision.
I will not yield!!!
Leonardo da Vinci: Then you don't deserve her.

Danielle: Don't you understand? You've won!
Go! Move into your palace! And leave us be!
Rodmilla: You are not my problem anymore.
Danielle: Is that what I am? Your problem?
I have done everything you've ever asked me to do
and still you've denied me the only thing I ever wanted.
Rodmilla: And what was that?
Danielle: What do you think?
You are the only mother I have ever known.
Was there a time, even in its smallest measurement that you loved me at all?
Rodmilla: How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?

Prince Henry: Hello.
Danielle: Hello.
[awkward silence]
Danielle: What are you doing here?
Prince Henry: I came to rescue you.
Danielle: Rescue me? A commoner?
Prince Henry: Actually, I came to beg your forgiveness.
I offered you the world, and at the first test of honor I betrayed your trust.

Prince Henry: Perhaps you would be so kind to help me find the owner of this...
[put out the slipper] rather remarkable shoe?
Danielle: Where did you find that?
Prince Henry: She is my match in every way.
Please tell me I haven't lost her.
Danielle: It belongs to a peasant, Your Highness,
who only pretended to be a courtier to save a man's life.
Prince Henry: Yes, I know.
And the name's Henry, if you don't mind.

Queen Marie: Baroness de Ghent, you are fortwith stripped of your title.
You and you horrible daughter are to be shipped to the America on the first available boat.
Unless, by some miracle, someone here will speak for you.
[no one seems speak for Rodmilla]
Rodmilla: There seem to be quite a few people out of town.
Danielle: I will speak for her.
She is, after all, my stepmother.

[to Rodmilla]
I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment and never think of you again.
But you, I am quite certain will think about me every single day for the rest of your life.
[to The Majesties]
All I ask, Your Majesties, is that you show her the same courtesy
that she has bestowed upon me.

Danielle: You, sir, are supposed to be charming.
Prince Henry: And we, Princess, are supposed to live happily ever after.

And while Cinderella and her Prince did live happily ever after,
the point, gentlemen, is that they lived.
~Grande Dame


*****