ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MINE [2004]

 I Already Forget How I Used To Feel About You

Random thoughts for Valentine's Day, 2004.

Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

~Joel Barish

The first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish, 

is to go home and collect everything you own that has some association with Clementine.

Anything.

And we'll use these items to create a map of Clementine in your brain, okay?

So, we'll need photos, clothing, gifts, books she may have bought you,

CDs you may have bought together, journal entries.

We want to empty your home, we want to empty your life of Clementine.

And after the mapping is done, our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight.

That way, when you awake in the morning, 

you'll find yourself in your own bed as if nothing had happened,

a new life awaiting you.

~Dr. Mierzwiak

Look at it out here, it's all falling apart!

I'm erasing you, and I'm happy.

You did it to me first!

I can't believe you did this to me.

Clem, can you hear me?

By morning you'll be gone.

The perfect ending to this piece-of-shit story!

~Joel Barish

You don't tell me things, Joel.

I'm an open book, I tell you everything.

You don't trust me.

~Clementine Kruczynski

Am I ugly?

When I was a kid, I thought I was.

Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid.

Like you don't matter.

So, I'm 8, and I have these toys, these dolls.

My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine.

And I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!"

It's weird.

Like if I can transform her, I would magically change too.

~Clementine Kruczynski

 Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.

Hide me in your humiliation.

~Clementine Kruczynski

Clementine: Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again.

I guess I thought you were humiliated.

You did run away, after all.

Joel: I just needed to see you.

I'd like to take you out or something.

Clementine: You're married.

Joel: Not yet. Not married. No, I'm not married.

Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance,

so I'm not gonna tiptoe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got going there.

If you wanna be with me, you're with me.

Joel: Okay.

Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them,

or I'm gonna make them alive.

But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.

Don't assign me yours.

Joel: I remember that speech really well.

Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?

Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.

I still thought you were gonna save my life, even after that.

It would be different if we could just give it another go around.

Remember me. Try your best.

Clementine: Maybe we can.

Clementine: This is it, Joel, it's gonna be gone soon.

Joel: I know.

Clementine: What do we do?

Joel: Enjoy it.

Joel: I've gotta catch my ride.

Clementine: So go.

Joel: I did.

I thought maybe you were a nut, but you were exciting.

Clementine: I wish you'd stayed.

Joel: I wish I'd stayed too. Now I wish I'd stayed.

I wish I'd done a lot of things.

Oh, God, I wish I had... I wish I'd stayed. I do.

Clementine: Well, I came back downstairs and you were gone.

Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door.

Clementine: Why?

Joel: I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid. I was like...

It was above my head, I don't know.

Clementine: You were scared?

Joel: Yeah. Thought you knew that about me.

I ran back to the bonfire trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.

Clementine: Was it something I said?

Joel: Yeah. You said, "So go"... with such disdain, you know.

Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.

Joel: It's okay.

Clementine: Joely, what if you stayed this time?

Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.

Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye, at least.

Let's pretend we have one.

Bye, Joel.

Joel: I love you.

Clementine, whispering: Meet me in Mantouk.

Clementine: I'm not a concept, Joel.

I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.

I'm not perfect.

Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.

Clementine: But you will.

Joel: Right now I can't.

Clementine: But you will. You will think of things,

and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Okay.

*****

JUST LIKE HEAVEN [2005]

Love Will Bring You Back


 Elizabeth, you're so lucky that all you have to worry about is work.

Elizabeth: I am completely capable of meeting men on my own.
Abby: I know, honey. I'd just like you to meet one who's not bleeding.

David: I've been sort of seeing someone.
Jack: That's what I'm talking about. Finally.
David: You think it's a good thing?
Jack: Absolutely.
The last time I tried to hook you up, you bailed out.
This is good, and the fact that you initiated it yourself, that's important.
Now, who is she? Do I know her?
David: I mean, I'm seeing someone that's not there.
Jack: She's emotionally unavailable?
Owh... you mean like a hallucination.
David: Twice, in my apartment. A woman.
Jack: Attractive?
David: Not really there, Jack...
Jack: Okay, okay. So when you saw this woman, were you drunk?
David: I mean, I had a little buzz.
Jack: Dave, don't lie to me, it doesn't help.
David: Okay, fine, I was wasted.
But still, I shouldn't seeing some little blonde control freak running around my apartment.
Why are you writing down? This isn't a session.
Jack: Hey, that's insulting, okay?
I'm your friend Jack here, I'm not charging you.
So, you were drunk, you saw this blonde, controlling...
David: I gotta stop drinking.
Jack: No!
David: No?
Jack: Yeah, drink, party. Just do it with other people.
God gave us alcohol as a social lubricant.
Make men brave, make women loose.
David: What is that, some Berkeley shrink thing?
Jack: Look around you... See this? This is the world. Join it.
Stop swimming around in your mind.
That is a dangerous neighborhood you should not go into alone.
Come on, Dave, it's been 2 years, man. No more hiding out.
David: Absolutely not.

David: We need to talk.
Elizabeth: About what?
David: Has it crossed your mind that there might be something a little off about the way you've been spending your days?
Elizabeth: Actually, yes, it's weird having a squatter in your living room.
David: Let's start over... Hi, I'm David. David Abbott. And you are...
Elizabeth: I am... [glance at her mug] I'm Elizabeth. My name is Elizabeth.
David: You didn't know that. You had to read that.
Elizabeth: I think I know my own name.
David: When was the last time that you remember actually talking to someone other than me?
Elizabeth: The other day...
David: And when you're not here, what do you do with the rest of your day?
Elizabeth: Certainly a lot more than you do, that's for sure.
David: Let's not stray from the point, Lizzie.
Elizabeth: Don't call me Lizzie. I'm not in kindergarten. My name's Elizabeth.
David: Let me ask you, has anything dramatic happened to you recently?
Elizabeth: Like what?
David: I don't know... like dying maybe?

Elizabeth: I'm not dead!
David: Look around you. There should be a bright light. Walk into the light, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: There is no light! I'm not dead! I think I would know if I was dead!

Elizabeth: Do you think I like this? Do you think this is easy for me?
I know something's different, something is not right. I'm walking through walls here.
Darryl: You know, I don't think I can help you.
This is one of the most alive spirits I've ever been around.
She's not going anywhere.
David: What do you mean?
Darryl: I agree with her, dude. She's not dead.
But you, you gotta deal with this...
Cause seriously, that's like the darkest aura I've ever seen.
Suckin' the life right outta you. It's killing you, man.
You have to let her go, dude.
David: How can I, when she won't leave?
Darryl: Not your spirit girl, I'm talking about the other one.
The one you're keeping in here. [point to his heart]
That's what's really haunting you, isn't it?
David: I don't want to talk about that.
Elizabeth: Oh, I get it. You were dumped.
Probably for some guy who doesn't have a couch fused to his ass.
David: Shut up!
Elizabeth: You can dish it out but you can't take it?
You bring Father Flanagan and the Joy Luck Club to get rid of me.
But I can't talk about you getting dumped once...
David: You don't know what the hell you're talking about, shut the hell up!
[he walks away]
Darryl, to David: Sorry for your loss, bro.
[to invincible Elizabeth] A word to the wise, girl, show some respect for the dead.

David: Why are you still here?
Elizabeth: That's a scary question. I have no idea.
Why are you the only one that can see me?
David: Don't ask me.
Elizabeth: All I know is when I'm not with you, it's like I don't exist.
Oh my God, maybe I am dead.

Elizabeth: If I could just remember something about who I am, or was, 
then I'd know once and for all.
I'm trying to figure it out. I just can't do it by myself.
David: You're not asking me to help you, are you?
Elizabeth: Look, you have 2 realities to choose from.
First one being that a woman has come into your life
in a very unconventional way and she happens to need your assistance.
The second one is that you're an insane person, sitting on a park bench talking to yourself.
David: I think I prefer the first one.
Elizabeth: Okay, let's find out who I am.

David: Oh, my God, it's you. It's you... it's really you.
You're not dead. You're alive.
Elizabeth: I know, David, but I'm in a coma. This is not good.
David: It's way better than dead.
Look at you. Your body is healing, you don't have any scars. You look pretty.
Elizabeth: It doesn't matter how I look. 3 months, that's a persistent coma.
David: We're here now, let's do something.
Elizabeth: Like what?
David: I don't know, you're the doctor.

This is what Elizabeth want it.
I spent my whole life thinking I knew what was best for her.
What she would wear, what men she should date.
This is the last thing Elizabeth asked for.
And for the first time in my life, I'm gonna respect her wishes.
~Abby

Elizabeth: Ask him if there's a spell...
David: Or a chant, anything to get...
Elizabeth: My spirit...
David: Back into her body?
Darryl: You're asking the wrong question, man.
David: Why is that wrong?
Darryl: Look, I have a gift. I didn't ask for it, but I do.
I can see things, spirits, whatever you wanna call them.
Why they're hanging here in the first place? That's their unfinished business.
David: Do I have the gift?
Darryl: Dude, please, you definitely don't have it. You're a civilian.
David: But if I don't have it, how is it that I can see her and talk to her when no one else can?
Darryl: Exactly.
David: Exactly what?
Darryl: That's the right question.

It's just funny because the one time I completely failed at something,
I had more fun than I'd ever had in my life.
~Elizabeth

David: Are you nervous?
Elizabeth: A little.
David: Why?
Elizabeth: I don't know.
David: How can you be nervous when I can't even touch you?
Elizabeth: I think I'm more nervous because you can't touch me.
David: Why?
Elizabeth: You know, in the hospital when you touched my hand?
I felt it. I mean, my spirit felt it. I don't know how.
But I think if you could ever really touch me, I might wake up from all of this.

Elizabeth: I think I know my unfinished business is.
David: What?
Elizabeth: You.

David: Suddenly I know what I'm supposed to do, because this time I can do something.
Elizabeth: What are you talking about?
David: Lizzie, when we first met, I kept saying that you were dead.
But it was me that was dead, and you brought me back.
You saved me.
And now it's my turn to save you.
Elizabeth: How?
David: I'm gonna steal your body.

Jack: Even if she was real, do you know what you're risking for this woman?
David: Yes.
Jack: Why?
David: Because I love her. I love her.
[to Elizabeth] I do, I love you.
Elizabeth: No one's ever said that to me before.

[after met Elizabeth's body]
Jack: This is the woman I set you up with, the woman you stood up that night!
David: I was gonna meet Elizabeth?
Jack: And she didn't make it either, because she had an accident.
David, to Elizabeth: It was you.
I was supposed to meet you.

 David: I just wanted you to have your garden.
Elizabeth: How did you get up here?
David: Spare key, under the fire extinguisher.
[Elizabeth looks puzzled]
Look, the last thing I want to do is scare you.
Goodbye, Lizzie.

 

 

 

*****

13 GOING ON 30 [2004]

A Comedy For The Kid In All Of Us

Matt: I can’t believe you invited those clones.

Jenna: They’re my friends.

Matt: Six Chick are not your friends, okay?

Jenna: Almost. And someday I’m gonna be a Six Chick.

Matt: There’s six of them. That’s the point. There can’t be a seventh Six Chick.

It’s just mathematically impossible.

You’re cooler than they are. They’re unoriginal.

Jenna: I don’t wanna be original, Matty. I wanna be cool.

Jenna: I hate my life.

Mom: Just because you don’t look like girls in Poise magazine, 

doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful in your own way.

Jenna: I don’t wanna be beautiful in my own way. I wanna look like these people. 

[point at the magazines]

Mom: Oh, those aren’t people, honey, those are models.

Jenna, reading the title of the article: “Thirty, flirty and thriving. 

Why the 30s are the best years of your life”.

I wanna be 30.

Kathy, chuckles: Well, you will be, honey. But right now, you’re my beautiful 13-year-old.

Jenna: Are you really my best friend?

Lucy: You’re pregnant.

Jenna: Oh, no! Oh, my God, no!

Lucy: Thank God, you scared me. What did you do last night?

Jenna: That’s the thing. Something really strange is happening.

I slept in an apartment I’ve never seen before and there was a naked man in my shower and I saw his thingy.

Lucy: Oh, God, not his thingy.

Jenna: I don’t know what’s happening.

Lucy: Hey, Jenna, just calm down, okay?

We have a meeting in 10 minutes. I’ll tell you what to do. Repeat after me,

“I am Jenna Rink, bigtime magazine editor.”

Jenna: I am?

Lucy: Repeat it.

Jenna: I am Jenna Rink, bigtime magazine editor.

Lucy: I’m a tough bitch. Say it.

Jenna: I’m a tough bitch.

Lucy: I’m gonna walk into that office, I won’t let anyone know I’m hungover.

Jenna: But that’s not the point, I’m not hungover…

[Lucy raise her eyebrow]

I’m gonna walk into that office and not let anyone know I’m hungover.

Lucy: Because the future of Poise depends on me.

Jenna: Poise?

Matt: Jenna, why are you here?

Jenna: I told you, something really weird is happening.

Yesterday was my 13^th birthday and then… and then today I woke up and I’m this.

And you… I mean, you’re that. You get it?

Matt: Are you high? You been smoking pot? Doing X? Falling into a K-hole? Are you doing drugs?

Jenna: No, no, look… I was sitting in my closet and I skipped everything.

I mean, it’s like a weird dream. I can’t remember my life.

You need to help me remember my life.

Matt: Me? I can’t do that.

Jenna: Why not?

Matt: I don’t know anything about you, all right? I haven’t seen you since high school.

Jenna: What?

Matt: We’re not friends anymore, Jenna.

Jenna: Matty, you’re my best friend.

Matt: No.

Matt: We went separate ways. We went to different colleges, different careers.

Jenna: What about Christmas? Didn’t you wanna see me then?

Matt: I think I saw you through a frosted window once, 6 years ago.

Jenna: 6 years ago?

Matt: Yeah.

Jenna: Wasn’t I home last Christmas?

Matt: I don’t know. Doesn’t your crowd do Saint Barts for Christmas?

Jenna: What if this isn’t just a dream? What if what I wished for actually happened?

Matt: Then you got everything you ever wanted. You might as well enjoy it.

Becky: Why are you talking to me?

Jenna: Why not? We are neighbors, right?

Becky: But you usually ignore me.

Jenna: I like your shoes.

Becky: Thanks. I like your dress.

Jenna: It’s because I’ve got these incredible boobs to fill it out.

Jenna: To being 30. I’ve decided it’s gonna be a totally awesome.

Lucy: Of course it is.

You’re thin, you’re hot, you can get any guy you want, biatch.

Jenna: Not to mention, biatch, the hottest magazine editor in the world.

Lucy: Second hottest.

Jenna: Tied for first?

Lucy: Deal.

Jenna: Is she your soulmate, Wendy?

Matt: My soulmate? I don’t know if I believe in those. I think that’s kind of naïve.

Jenna: But you get goosebumps when you’re around her… and butterflies?

Matt: No, I haven’t gotten crazy like that about a girl since high school.

Jenna: Matty, what happened to us?

I mean, how come we never stayed friends?

Matt: I don’t know, I forget.

Jenna: No, what happened?

Matt: I don’t know. I can pretty much peg it to your 13^th birthday party.

When you were in the closet, playing that game, Spin the Rapist?

Jenna: Seven Minutes in Heaven… Everybody ditched. And that is the last thing I remember.

Matt: We don’t have to get into this. It’s a long time ago. It really doesn’t matter anymore.

Jenna: It matters to me. Just tell me.

Matt: You came out of the closet, and I started to sing my birthday song to you,

And then you picked up and threw at me with impressive force, I might add,

The dream house that I spent 3 weeks building for you.

And then you just stopped being my friend, and you never spoke to me again after that, ever.

Jenna: I’m so sorry.

Matt: Forget it, Jenna. It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.

Jenna: Matt, stop being so nice to me. I don’t deserve it.

Do you know what kind of person I am now? Do you know who I am right now?

I don’t have any real friends, I did something bad with a married guy, I don’t talk to my mom and dad.

I’m not a nice person.

And the thing is, I’m not 13 anymore.

Jenna: If you were given one do-over anything in your life, what would it be?

Mom: Nothing.

Jenna: Really?

Mom: Really.

Jenna: But did you ever make a big mistake?

Or huge one that could change your life? What about that?

Mom: Jenna, I know I made a lot of mistakes but I don’t regret making any of them.

Jenna: How come?

Mom: Because if I hadn’t have made them, I wouldn’t have learned how to make things right.

You wanna know a secret?

You’re the sweetest gut I’ve ever knew.

-Jenna Rinks

Heartache to heartache, we stand.

Love is a battlefield

-Jenna Rinks

Matt: Jenna, I’m not gonna lie to you.

I have felt things these past few weeks that I didn’t know I could feel anymore.

But I have realized in these past few days, you can’t just turn back time.

Jenna: Why not?

Matt: I moved on, you moved on. We’ve gone down different paths for so long.

We made choices. I chose Wendy.

Jenna: I love you, Matt. You’re my best friend.

Matt: Jenna, I’ve always loved you.

Jenna: A Razzle, Mr. Flamhaff?

Matt: Thank you, Mrs. Flamhaff.

*****