OB40mukEXQ6QZ1740xdjwF1LEQ4 Quote to Remember: IT'S OKAY, THAT'S LOVE [2014]


Wednesday, November 19, 2014


MinYoung: Unni, you know writer JangJaeYeol, right?
HaeSoo: Oh, I was a fan of him long time ago, but not now.
MinYoung: Why?
HaeSoo: Is the thing that he's writing right now a novel?
Since 3 years ago, all he writes are foul thrillers.
He writes about ripping a per son apart, burying them alive, and cutting them off
He's crazy, I tell you.
MinYoung: Sunbae said that you have a sex phobia,
but you must have a male phobia.
HaeSoo: The precise nature of my disease is, insecurity and relationship avoidance.
MinYoung: But if you really see him, it's going to be different.
He is good looking!

Whenever life is difficult, we always think that there is no way to live.
But, a psychiatrist like me, will tell you that's not the answer.
There is hope no matter how difficult the situation is.
Whether you have a small trouble or a variety of troubles, 
when your heart hurts or when your heart has a cold,
coming to see a psychiatrist is one of the hopes you have to survive.

He has a personality disorder who thinks that the sun rotates around him.
~JiHaeSoo, about JangJaeYeol


I'm making my own rules since there aren't any in this house.
What comes around, goes around.
A smile for a smile, an insult for insult.
If you charge into my room, I'll charge into yours.

A woman was beaten, by her parents and brothers, for one reason alone.
To gain the understanding of people who don't understand her,
she has bruises on her face.
But that woman wants to return home, saying she understands her attackers.
This time, if she returns home, 
her head might crack open while being beaten,
her back might break instead of her leg.
 But she says it's okay, because it's her parents and brothers.
She deserves to be beaten, so, she'll be beaten again.
Run away.
This is my prescription as your doctor.
If not, you might be beaten to death.
I have no choice but to force hospitalization.
My goal as a doctor is to save my patients no matter what.
Sarah, who you need to understand before your parents, is yourself first.
~JiHaeSoo, to Sarah

PulIp: In the 3 years we've been dating, I've seen you a total 2 months at most.
You were always writing.
I was the sex partner you met occasionally when you weren't writing.
JaeYeol: What you were to me, what I was to you, I still hadn't defined it yet.
But you did it for me, 'sex partner'.
But even between sex partners, there are boundaries you shouldn't cross.
You shouldn't have messed with a long-time friend.

SooKwang, point to JoDongMin and LeeYoungJin: Those 2 used to be married.
[point to someone] That guy's first love was HaeSoo noona.
[point to JoDongMin] That hyungnim was HaeSoo noona's first love.
He was HaeSoo noona's first kiss when she was drunk.
[point to MinYoung] That noona's fisrt love is ChoiHo.
HaeSoo noona was my first kiss.
[point to ChoiHo and HaeSoo] Those 2 will get married soon.
I gave up on noona.
JaeYeol: Does anyone here kiss each other and just live together?
Is that how you guys have fun?

 I'll give you a warning as a roommate.
It's because of that temper you got dumped.
~JangJaeYeol, to JiHaeSoo


HaeSoo: You are not normal.
You turned up suddenly like a hunter who spotted prey.
You need to have any woman who catches your eye, 
you must, have to, absolutely, end up in your bed, right?
Someone like you with a narcissistic personality disorder.
JaeYeol: That means you think you've caught my eye?
Do you think you're that attractive?
HaeSoo: Does a hunter care about charm in his prey?
Eating is his goal.
JaeYeol: I'm not that hungry.
HaeSoo, to DongMin and SooKwang: This is sexual harassment, right?
DongMin: You started it.
SooKwang: I think he's right.
HaeSoo: You won't get me in that bed.
JaeYeol: Don't get in my bed.
You don't have to even if I try to, right?
 What? Are you afraid you might wander into my bed?

HaeSoo: Is someone else's pain so amusing that you like to write about it?
JaeYeol: I write about my own pain for a living.
Who cares about someone else's pain?

The mental patients we pointed fingers at,
once you understand their situations, we see the uniqueness of their pain.
Psychiatrists say that we're all patients.
Like getting a cold, illnesses of the heart are common.
Let's acknowledge that and understand each other's pain.


 The next time you fall in love, just let yourself feel it.
Don't make plans or vows

 JaeBeom: That man, in white undershirt, he's a murderer.
He says he was diagnosed with a mental disorder and only sentenced to a year.
Then he threatens the other guys.
He says not to mess with him because he fooled the doctors.
Are you psychiatrists idiots?
Can't you tell the difference between a criminal and a patient?
DongMin: He's lying.
You can't be here if you get diagnosed with a mental disorder.
You would be in the psychiatric facility.
The way I see it, I think he's a petty criminal.
Those tattoos are a defense mechanism, a technique to protect himself from danger.
In other words, the more tattoos he has, the more fearful he is.

DongMin: You prisoners must wish for a shorter sentence after hitting a psychiatric diagnosis, but you can't fool science.
We have a truth serum called amytal sodium.
If a guy commits murder and says he was mentally ill,
you'd think it would fool us and he's be liberated? No way.
He'll tell the truth if he's injected with amytal sodium.
"I don't have a mental illness."
That's the strength of an amytal interview.
You can only speak the truth.
JaeBeom: I wish my mom would get that injection.
One injection for my mom and another for my amazing brother.


JaeYeol: Do things like this happen often when she gets all fired up?
Walking around half naked like that?
DongMin & KwangSoo: From time to time. Why?
JaeYeol: I want to get her even more fired up.
DongMin: Aigoo, that's a sexy thought.

Do I need to apologize for not feeling those flutters in my stomach for you right now?
If that's the case, then sorry.

KwangSoo: How do you date? Tell me.
JaeYeol: Just leave her.
Even though you may want her, you may end up losing her.
but if you're prepared for the possible loss, then there's a higher chance of winning too.


HaeSoo: What happened?
JaeYeol: This kid I know was getting beaten by his father.
His name is KangWoo and I like this kid.
When I saw his father beating him, I sort of lost it.
HaeSoo: Why did you get yourself involved in someone else's family matter?
JaeYeol: That's what other people said when my mom and I used to get beaten by my stepfather.
Since it wasn't their own family matter, no one ever got themselves involved.
So in the end, our family caused a whole lot of ruckus for the whole public to see.

After you caught me sleeping in the bathroom,
the feelings I had for you in the water were very sincere.
Eventhough it may have seemed impulsive.
~JangJaeYeol, to JiHaeSoo

Do you know what this painting of camels is about?
Nomadic people in the desert tie up their camels to the trees at night like this.
But as you can see, they untie them from the trees in the morning.
But the camels still don't run away.
Because they remember being tied up to the tree the night before.
Just like how we remember the pains from our own past.
The pain and trauma from our past keep us chained down to the ground.

 JaeYeol: A while back, I dated this girl from a really nice family background.
They were pretty well off and all the family members got along.
HaeSoo: Then she must've been really nice and happy all the time.
JaeYeol: But that's when I realized,  she was just so nice, happy and positive all the time,
and I found that to be unbelievably dull.
A person needs to know both the bitter and sweetness in life to grow
and that's what keeps a relationship interesting too.
But when you know nothing but the sweetness?
Ugh, that's so unattractive.


 JaeYeol: I'm telling you that I'm fine, so what's the problem here?
Right now is not the time when I need someone's help.
But it was when my mom and my 16 year old self were being beaten by my stepfather.
And also 14 years ago, when my brother was only 19 years old
and was sentenced in that courtroom for 11 years in prison for murder 
eventhough it was clear that he was only acting in self defense.
But it was because he had a history of violent outburst without any mental or psychiatric evaluations.
We needed help then, not now.
DongMin: Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement.
JaeBeom is a much more dangerous person than you think.
JaeYeol: If my brother really was a dangerous person, 
when he stabbed me with a fork 3 years ago,
he would've stabbed me in the neck instead of my shoulder.
And instead of a needle, he would've stabbed me with a knife.
Don't you think?
And if my brother really was a dangerous person, 
then he would be cowering in fear of us calling the police of him,
instead of... sitting in there like a child eating all those baked goods.
Just like you said, 
he may be a vindictive person who wants revenge on his little brother for testifying against him.
Maybe he really will stab me with a knife later on.
But I can't allow my brother to waste away in jail over something that hasn't even happened.
Down the road, if something like that were to happen, then I'd ask for your help.

I will put my reputation as a psychiatric doctor on the line 
and I vow to cure you of your mental illness, you lousy bastard.
~JoDongMin, about JangJaeBeom

KwangSoo: HaeSoo noona will now start showering you with kisses to the point where you'll be shocked.
She's going to start touching you too.
You two will get to watch a movie together while she lays down with her head on your lap.
But... that'll be it.
She'll get you all worked up time and time again
but whenever you try to take it further, 
she'll shrug her shoulders and act all innocent and ignorant.
And next thing you know, you'll be celebrating your 300th day.
She's the queen of knowing how to make a man beg and cry for 300 days straight.
It'll never become more than that.
Never, ever. [laugh hard]
ChoiHo lost a total of 5 kilos while dating her.
So, eat up.
JaeYeol: I'm not ChoiHo.
I'm JangJaeYeol.

[on the phone]
HyeSoo: It's me.
JaeYeol: I know.
HyeSoo: What are you doing?
JaeYeol: I'm driving.
HyeSoo: Hands free?
JaeYeol: Yes, hands free.
HyeSoo: What about dinner?
JaeYeol: I ate.
HyeSoo: With who?
JaeYeol: Someone you don't know.
Where are you?
HyeSoo: I'm on a bus going home.
JaeYeol: What about dinner?
HyeSoo: I ate and don't ask what kind of side dishes I had, it's tiring.
JaeYeol: What do you want to talk about?
HyeSoo: Nothing.
JaeYeol: Okay, bye.
HyeSoo: Okay, I'll see you at home.
[hung up the phone]
HyeSoo: Perfect.
JaeYeol: Perfect.
HyeSoo: Perfect. Sweet and short.
JaeYeol: She is so my type. I love it.


 HyeSoo: JangJaeYeol, let's be honest with each other.
Why is it that all men are constantly making a fuss to sleep with women?
JaeYeol: Desire plus love.
HyeSoo: It isn't a confusion between sex and love?
JaeYeol: If you know of a more pious way to prove the love between a man and a woman other than the act of making love in bed, then tell me, because I'd like to know.
HyeSoo: You'd better just go to bed unless you want to hear me call you an animal.
JaeYeol: Okay, I admit it. I'm an animal.
I'm only going to say this because you want me to be honest.
So to be honest, I'm full of thoughts of wanting to sleep with you.
HyeSoo: How can you be so up front about it?
JaeYeol: Because I don't think of it as being weird.
Because that's just a basic human desire.
HyeSoo: So I have to be understanding of it?
JaeYeol: No.
If I wasn't able to fight back against my basic desire and force you to do something 
then that would undoubtedly be wrong.
Even in the eyes of the law, that would clearly make me a criminal.
But just an innocent thought without acting upon it is completely natural.
To have you see these thoughts in my head when I'm not acting upon them as a bad thing
and to have you badger me about them is unfair and uncalled for.
So from a man's point of view, I'm just saying that you're being cruel.
HyeSoo: What if I told you that I didn't want to?
JaeYeol: Then I would just go sleep in my room.
Even though it's disappointing, what else can I do about it?

HyeSoo: When did you meet KangWoo for the first time?
JaeYeol: 3 years ago, when my brother stabbed me with a fork.
He was crying for me like the other fans.
HyeSoo: Are you 2 very close?
JaeYeol: Whenever I see him, he just reminds me of myself when I was a young boy.
And my heart hurts whenever I think about him, 
when my stepfather used to beat my mother when I was young.
I thought about not being able to get any help from anyone back then.
So, I wanted to protect him.
HyeSoo: Surprisingly, I think you're a warm man.
I like you.
JaeYeol: Me too.

HyeSoo: Are you upset about how I reacted earlier?
JaeYeol: I'm not upset. I'm just trying to adjust to my rules.
HyeSoo: Rules? What rules?
JaeYeol: I'm going to return as much as I get.
If you give me your tongue, I'll give you mine.
If you kiss me, then I'll kiss you in return.
You can touch me whenever you want, but I can't, I've decided that's unfair.
HyeSoo: So, what is this?
You don't want me to lay a single finger on you now?
JaeYeol: You can if you give me permission.
HyeSoo: You have no boundaries.
I have boundaries when I touch you.
But you...
JaeYeol: Let's just stay like this then.


HyeSoo: Why don't you ever deny it when I call you a dog and a player?
 JaeYeol: Because I know that I'm not.
But since that's what you seem to think of me, so I'm giving you the freedom of opinion.
HyeSoo: So you're telling me that you're not a dog and a player, is that it?
When you're guilty of stealing glances at a woman's chest?
I saw you doing it.
I caught you stealing glances at the make-up artist's chest when we did the talk show.
And you also steal glances at every single pretty woman that walks by you.
Just know that I'm overlooking those moments because I'm a very generous person, okay?
JaeYeol: The make-up artist's chest when we did the talk show, okay, I admit that.
She was perfectly aware that the man sitting in front of her was staring into the mirror 
yet she still lowered her chest,
so what do you think she was intending?
That thought did make me wonder.
When she did that, I thought to myself 
'I guess she felt confident enough, but I don't think she's all that pretty.'
And yes, I do admit that I've glanced over at pretty women passing by on this vacation.
And you know what I thought to myself?
"Wow, my HyeSoo is so much prettier."
HyeSoo: So you compared me to other women?
JaeYeol: Why is that a bad thing?
Isn't it better than getting angry later on because you felt I was being deceiving?
I pray and hope that you constantly compare me to all the other men you see around you.
Because the more you compare me to others,  the more shocked and amazed you'll be.
You'll be shocked at how amazing I really am.


 By any chance,
are you now wanting to marry HyeSoo just because she slept with you once?
That's just absurd, and I'm embarrassed for you.

[as she refuses to be kissed]
You're too difficult for me.
You're cruel, evil and cold hearted and you have too great of a control over me.
SooKwang told me that I'm already like your trained house dog.


JaeYeol: To those of you who've been through many goodbyes, including myself, 
there's still hope for us all.
HyeSoo: Yes, many people may say that they had no other choice but to stay together because they were married and had children together.
  But my thoughts were that more than anything else, 
it's because of those countless memories they shared together that made it possible for them 
to make up and reconcile as they did.
JaeYeol: All those countless memories the 2 of them shared together,
I also find myself wanting to find someone to build those lasting memories with.

I'm perfect for you.
You're so frugal with your money so you won't like businessmen
because you'll be afraid that he'll blow away your money.
You won't like civil workers because they're too stable, and you'd just get bored.
You also wouldn't like a career man because of the constant worry of a promotion.
You won't like teachers because they're know-it-alls.
You won't like musicians because you won't like their music.
And you'd be annoyed with artists because they'll splatter their paint everywhere.
I'm perfect for you.
I haven't asked you to marry me, but I'm still perfect for you.


I sleep in a bathtub, not a bed.
 My mom sleeps in a cold open windowed living room all year.
My brother staying in jail for 14 years.
I don't have the courage to tell all this to any other woman except you.
Even after hearing and seeing all that about me, 
do you think there's another woman out there who can calmly just listen to all that, like you?
I don't think there are any out there.
HaeSoo, if there's another woman like that, please tell me.
So I won't hang onto you as much.

That's why if we marry, if we don't want to be betrayed or abandoned by each other,
we have to focus more on each other,
be considerate of each other,
love each other,
and work harder than now.

If you are afraid that you might lose a lot, you shouldn't marry him.
If you think you might gain a lot, you should marry him.

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and I miss you.
I haven't clean up your trail and just left it there.
I hope that this will become a regular habit, even if we don't get married.
I love you, JiHaeSoo.


DongMin: JaeYeol is really sick, HaeSoo.
HaeSoo: What do you mean?
YoungJin: From what we confirmed, it's schizophrenia.
HaeSoo, in shocked: What are his active symptoms?
DongMin: Did JaeYeol talk to you about KangWoo?
HaeSoo: Yeah, a lot.
DongMin: KangWoo is a hallucination.
TaeYoung: KangWoo doesn't exist.
I looked into it, but whether it's his school or house, he doesn't exist anywhere.
Even today, when I asked JaeYeol where the novel KangWoo wrote is, 
he said that it's at your house in the shelf, so I searched, but it's not there.

If guilt is the issue, the longer you are happy with him,
the patient's impulse will get worse.

I think KangWoo is a hallucination of his child self.
The biggest issue is, him getting hurt trying to protect KangWoo 
is from his guilt towards his brother and is impulsive; and he doesn't realize this.

KangWoo, don't ever think that you're alone.
I'm here for you, you know that, right?

There is nothing else more to confirm about his hallucination.
Sleeping disorder, eating disorder, and not being able to write as a writer.
That's definitely function disability.
And also, it's unbelievable that we caught up now, 
but he always had his younger self subconsciously with him.
He disregarded his wounds, and put himself in a dangerous situation, 
it's definite that this may be a scenario for suicide.


His Lou Gehrig's disease is a delusional pain disorder
created subconciously and shared between him and HanKangWoo.
It's an example that shows the weakness of the mind controlling the body.

Putting together all of the situations until now,
JangJaeYeol reality testing is completely broken into pieces.
Probably, JangJaeYeol, as soon as he received the wound after his brother's releases 3 years ago,
subconsciously realized that his brother's resentment would never fade unless he died.
That's when he first hallucinated KangWoo.
Then his subconsciuos strated writing a scenario that would, in the end,
lead to his death using KangWoo.
Dying while saving KangWoo.
His subconscious chose an accident rather than a suicide,
because an accident would cause less pain for his mom, whom he loves.
And he probably thought that would be the best way to compensate his brother who unfairly lived in prison for 14 years.
In addition, it is a perfect scenario to keep his mother in a dissociated state forever.

 JaeBeom: You tell my mom that she killed him.
Cure her. Give her amytal.
DongMin: Someone who lied tells the truth when injected with amytal, 
but someone who is in a dissociated state has no memory,
so amytal won't have an effect.
If you do want to cure her, you do it.
JaeBeom: Am I a doctor?
DongMin: That, rather than a doctor, a punk like you will do it better.
Go right now to your mom, and reveal the truth that can't be taken back.
If she still doesn't remember, then reveal and reveal, again and again, and torture her.
There's no medical basis, but who knows?
JaeBeom: Hey, hey, is that something a doctor should say?
DongMin: It's your family problem, punk.
It's your brother and your mother's problem.
The choice should be made by the eldest son of the family, which is you.
Your brother is locked up at a hospital due to schizophrenia caused by guilt,
and your mother lived all her life getting beat up.
Now next to her, there's only you, who's a hooligan.
Your revenge. Isn't this enough?
a child who realizes his pain but doesn't acknowledge the pain of others.
A 3 years old whose hair is white, a little baby.
JaeBeom, punch him: You bastard!

DongMin: JaeYeol, where is KangWoo right now?
 [JaeYeol look around and found KangWoo sitting near the window]
Is KangWoo here?
[JaeYeol nods]
This is a hospital and a place where regular civilians can't enter.
Why KangWoo be here?
JaeYeol, why?
I can't see him, but you see him.
A moment ago, in the video, KangWoo isn't there, but you see him again.
Does something seem weird?
[JaeYeol nods]
It is weird, but you're saying that you think KangWoo is there.
[JaeYeol nods]
Then what is KangWoo?
Is it something fake that your mind created?
JaeYeol: KangWoo is real.
KangWoo only believes in me.
If I'm not there, then KangWoo doesn't have anyone.
Everyone is uncomfortable about someone who doesn't have anything and neglects him.
DongMin: Do you think I would do the same? HaeSoo, too?
JaeYeol, sobbing: HaeSoo, I want to see her.
DongMin: When you and your mom were getting beaten up, were people like that?
Uncomfortable and neglecting?
JaeYeol: To hyung, too.
DongMin: Then JaeYeol, is KangWoo, you?
JaeYeol, shake his head: No. KangWoo is KangWoo.

Due to medication, visual and auditory hallucination of KangWoo have decreased,
but he's not aware of his disorder yet.
He does agree that it is weird that we can't see KangWoo,
but he believes that KangWoo exists.

HaeSoo's mom: Do you know what it's like to live with a patient?
Not recognizing his wife, not recognizing his daughters.
HaeSoo: Mom, don't talk rashly about Dad.
HaeSoo's mom: Your dad doesn't know anything!
He's not coming here right now even though I hit you.
Believing that his mind is clear even though he can't talk, it's my delusion.
I'm fooling myself, so I can live.

JaeYeol: Let... me out.
Here, I don't feel like myself.
[somehow see KangWoo in his room]
If seeing KangWoo is a disorder, then I will fix it on my own will.
Trust me, and let me out.
I won't see KangWoo ever again.
Being here, [start sobbing] I feel so small. I don't like this feeling.
Let me out.
[HaeSoo kiss him]
Sh- should I not say these kinds of things?
Then, will you leave?
HaeSoo: I'll be back again.
[JaeYeol holds her hand as she intend to leave]
JaeYeol: If I hold onto you, then they'll inject me with medication again, right?
HaeSoo, nods: You have to trust me.
KangWoo is a hallucination. I'm real.
There is a limit to medication.
Even if you see KangWoo, 
you have to know that it's a hallucination to fix your disorder.
You have to know that KangWoo is a reflection of yourself that you created.
Finding that illusion and the contradiction isn't done by doctors, but by you.
JaeYeol: I'll find it at home.


Hyung... HyeSoo, Dong Min and I are real, and KangWoo isn't.
We're all waiting for you to come back to us.

HyeSoo: Abandoning me and leaving me was a huge mistake.
Refusing my help was a huge mistake.
Once I end this call I'm never going to call you again even if my life depend on it.
When I say I'm going to do something, then I do it, just like you.
As long as you keep insisting that KangWoo is real, we can't be together.
JangJaeYeol, listen very carefully to what I'm about to say.
Once I end this call, you're probably going to see KangWoo again.
When you see KangWoo, look at him straight in his eyes, and see it.
See that he's just your illusion and hallucination.
That's the only way for us to be together again.
JaeYeol: KangWoo exist.
HyeSoo: Whenever you see KangWoo,
think of all the moments when you and I shared our love.
The moments when I touched you, and the moments when you touched me...
The moments when I laughed and cried in your arms... think of those moments.
Those moments were very real.
JaeYeol: KangWoo exist... so I don't know why everyone's telling me that he doesn't.
Just what's an illusion and a hallucination, I just can't seem to find it.
HyeSoo: You'll find it.
I know you can find it.
The KangWoo that you see... take a very close look at him.
From the top of his head to the tips of his toes.
Stop your breathing, and look at him very closely.
In every hallucination, there are always some sort of an inconsistency.
If you take a close look, you should be able to find the inconsistency.
All my other patients have found theirs, so I know that you can find it, too.
Once you find the illusion and the inconsistency, then come back to me.
Because I'll be waiting.
I love you so very much.

Author Jang, do you not want me to come anymore?


JaeYeol: My girlfriend wants me to tell you, thank you.
She told me that had I never met you, 
I probably wouldn't have been able to have lived this long because of all the guilt that I felt.
She told me that by caring for you, I was in fact caring for myself.
Thank you for everything, KangWoo.
After having met you, I realized something.
 Even though I may have acted strong, 
the abuse that I took from my stepfather and my brother really frightened me, and scarred me.
Even as I witnessed the beatings my mom took, I couldn't even do anything about it.
That weak little boy I used to be...
I didn't realize until now how much I resented him.
Whenever I made my escape by running through the road barefoot, 
even though I didn't cry out loud,
I realized that I was... I was so very much afraid.
KangWoo: That's all in the past now.
JaeYeol: Yes.
I was just a young boy back then and it's all things of the past now.
But somehow, I grew up to be a pretty decent adult.
That's what I've come to realize.
KangWoo: Even if I do come back, don't acknowledge me anymore, okay?
But if once in a while you happen to think of me and miss me,
then just take a look in the mirror, because you're me.

Love doesn't mean giving something up for the other person.
But it means to achieve something.

I'm not going to concede on this.
Just like how I came to realize the truth about KangWoo with your help,
you're going to go on this trip with my help 
and come back much stronger and wiser.



No comments:

Post a Comment