CONSTANTINE [2005]

Hell Wants Him
Heaven Won't Take Him
Earth Needs Him


"He who possesses the Spear of Destiny holds the fate of the world in his hands."
 The Spear of Destiny has been missing since the end of World War II.

This is Constantine.
John Constantine, asshole.
~Constantine

Dr. Leslie: 20 years ago, you didn't wanna be here. Now you don't wanna leave.
[Constantine lights his cigarette]
Yeah, that's a good idea.
John, you really need to prepare. Make arrangements.
Constantine: No need. I already know exactly where I'm going.

Beeman: So, what the action?
Constantine: I just pulled a soldier demon out of a little girl.
Looked like it was trying to come through.
Yeah, I know how it sounds.
Beeman: No, we're finger puppets to them, John, not doorways.
They can work us, but they can't come through onto our plane.
Constantine: Check the scrolls anyway. See if there's any precedent.

Gabriel: You still trying to buy your way into heaven?
Constantine: What about the minions I've sent back?
That alone should guarantee my entry.
Gabriel: How many times have I told you? That's not the way this works.
Constantine: Why, haven't I served Him enough?
What does He want from me?
Gabriel: Only the usual. Self-sacrifice, belief.
Constantine: Oh, I believe, for chrissake.
Gabriel: No, no, you know, and there's a difference. You've seen.
Constantine: I never asked to see. I was born with this curse.
Gabriel: A gift, John. One that you've squandered on selfish endeavors.
Constantine: I'm pulling demons out of little girls. Who's that for?
Gabriel: Everything you've ever done, you've only ever done for yourself.
To earn your way back into His good graces.
Constantine: Impossible rules, endless regulations, who goes up, who goes down and why.
[throw the Bible] You don't even understand us.
You're the one who should go to hell, half-breed.

Constantine: Why me, Gabriel? It's personal, isn't it?
I didn't go to church enough, I didn't pray enough, I was 5 bucks short in the collection plate. Why?
Gabriel: You are going to die young because you smoked 30 cigarettes a day since you were 15.
And you're going to go to hell because of the life you took.
You're fucked.

 Constantine: What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, 
a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
Angela: I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
Constantine: Humor me.
No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule. Just influence. See who would win.
Angela: Okay, I'm humoring you. Why?
Constantine: Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling.
Angela: Oh, so it's fun.
It's fun when a man beats his wife to death, when a mother drowns her baby.
And you think the devil is responsible?
People are evil, Mr. Constantine. People.
Constantine: You're right. We're born capable of terrible things.
Then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.
Angela: This has been real educational, but I don't believe in the devil.
Constantine: You should. He believes in you.

Constantine: When I was a kid, I can see things. 
Things humans aren't supposed to see. Things you shouldn't have to see.
My parents were normal. They did what most parents would do. They made it worse.
You think you're crazy long enough. You find your way out.
Angela: You tried to kill yourself.
Constantine: I didn't try anything.
Officially, I was dead for 2 minutes.
But when you cross over, time stops. Take it from me, 2 minutes in hell is a lifetime.
When I came back, I knew, all the things I could see were real.
Heaven and hell are right here. Behind every wall, every window.
The world behind the world, and we're smack in the middle.
Angels and demons can't cross over onto our plane.
So instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers.
They can only whisper in our ears, but a single word can give you courage
or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare.
Those with the demon's touch, like those part angel, living alongside us.
They call it the balance.
I call it hypocritical bullshit.
So when a half-breed breaks the rules, I deport their sorry ass straight back to hell.
I don't get them all, but I've been hoping to get enough to ensure my retirement.
Angela: I don't understand.
Constantine: I'm a suicide, Angela.
When I die, the rules say I've just got one place to go.
Angela: You're trying to but your way into heaven.
Constantine: What would you do if you were sentenced to a prison
where half the inmates were put there by you?
Angela: I guess God has a plan for all of us.
Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady.
He's not planning anything.

Angela: John, there is no 17th act in Corinthians.
Constantine: Corinthians goes to 21 acts in the Bible in hell.
Angela: They have Bibles in hell.
Constantine: Paints a different view of Revelations.
Says the world will not end by God's hand, but be reborn in the embrace of the damned.
Though if you ask me, fire's fire.
Beeman, over the phone: Oh my, this is certainly not good.
"The sins of the father would only be exceeded by the sins of the son."
Angela: Whose son?
Constantine: But he can't cross over, B. Impossible to cross over.
Angela: Whose son? God's son?
Constantine: No, the other one. Devil had a son, too.
Beeman: This is the sign of Mammon, the son of the devil.
It says here, Mammon has no patience for his father's rule and yearns to forge his own kingdom of fire and blood.
Mammon would be the last demon we'd ever want crossing over to our plane.
It says first Mammon would have to possess a very, very powerful psychic.
Angela: Isabel.
Beeman: But that wouldn't be enough.
To cross over, Mammon would need divine assistance.
To cross over, Mammon would need the help of God.
Constantine: The help of God?
Beeman: John, look, I know you've never had much faith, you've never had much reason to,
but that doesn't mean that we don't have faith in you.

Constantine: You don't wanna know what's out there, trust me.
Angela: I'm stronger than Isabel.
Constantine: Your sister embraced her gift, you denied yours. Denial is a better idea.
It's why you're still alive.
Stick with me, that will change.
I don't need another ghost following me.

Angela: So, why water?
Constantine: It's a universal conduit.
Lubricates the transition from one plane to another.

Angela: Can you just kill him? What about the balance?
Constantine: Half-breed tipped the scales when he started killing my friends.
I'm just adding some counterweight.

Half-breeds are most vulnerable when their outer skin is breached by holy water.
Certain objects, most notably either of the 2 crosses of Isteria, 
have been used by even the unordained to bless commonly occurring waters, even rain.
~Chas Kramer

Constantine: And the wicked shall inherit the earth.
Gabriel: You judging me now, John?
Constantine: Betrayal, murder, genocide, call me provincial.
Gabriel: I am simply seeking to inspire mankind to all that was intended.
Constantine: By handing earth over to the son of the devil?
Help me here. 
Gabriel: You're handed this precious gift, right?
Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator.
Murderers, rapists and molesters, all of you, you just have to repent and God takes you into His bosom.
In all the worlds in all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man.
It's not fair.
If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I'll make you worthy of his love.
I've been watching you for a long time.
It's only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves.
And you can be so noble.
So, I'll bring you pain. I'll bring you horror. So that you may rise above it.
So that those of you who survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God's love.
Constantine: Gabriel, you're insane.

I know I'm not one of Your favorites.
I'm not even welcome in Your house.
But I could use a little attention.
Please.
~John Constantine

Lucifer: Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
Constantine: The sister, Isabel...
Lucifer: What about her?
Constantine: Let her go home.
Lucifer: You're willing to give up your life so she can go to heaven?
Fine! It's done.
Time to go, John.

*****