OB40mukEXQ6QZ1740xdjwF1LEQ4 Quote to Remember: MISS CONGENIALITY [2000]


Sunday, April 29, 2012



The last time I was this naked in public I was coming out of a uterus! 
[Gracie Hart]

I haven't seen a walk like that since 'Jurassic Park!'
[Victor Melling]

If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... 
which is perhaps why I've never reproduced. 
[Victor Melling]

[Gracie Hart]: I would so love to hurt you right now. 
[Victor Melling]: As long as you smile. 

[Victor Melling]: What, no armored car?
[Gracie Hart]: That would be in my other dress. 

[Victor Melling]: Your hair should make a statement. 
[Gracie Hart]: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'! 

[Victor Melling, teaching Gracie how to glide]: See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. 
Don't I look pretty? 
[Gracie Hart]: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.

[Gracie Hart]: My teeth - What are you going to do with my teeth? 
[Victor Melling]: Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue. 

[Victor Melling]: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun!
[Gracie Hart]: Oh, 'I' have sarcasm? 
When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain? 
[Victor Melling]: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - 
and that works for me! 
[Gracie Hart]: You know what? 
I don't have relationships because I don't want them, 
 an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. 
And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.

[Eric Matthews]: What do you say, Hart? 
[Gracie Hart]: No freakin' way. 
[Eric Matthews]: Sparky, why not?
[Gracie Hart]: Cause I'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some airhead bimbo that goes by the name, what, Gracie Lou Freebush and all she wants is world peace? 
[Eric Matthews]: It won't be like that. 
Come on, you're an important member of the undercover team.
[Gracie Hart]: Yeah, right, in a thong.  

[Eric Matthews]: Hart, listen to me. I've waited five years to run my own op. 
You think I'd blow it on the wrong girl? 
[Gracie Hart]: No no no, I know the only reason you picked me was because I was the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn't on maternity leave. 
[Eric Matthews]: No, that's why they 'let' me pick you. 
You wanna know why I picked you? 
[Gracie Hart]: Lost a bet?
[Eric Matthews]: Because you're smart. 
Because you don't take any crap from people. 
You're funny. 
You're easy to talk to when you're not armed. 
Look, give yourself a break. 
Cut Vic and the other pagent ladies some slack cause if they ever get a chance to see what I see then... they're gonna love you.

[Gracie Hart]: Where am I gonna keep my gun?
[Eric Matthews]: Nowhere I wanna know about!

[Eric Matthews]: You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this. 
[Gracie Hart]: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. 
And I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts. 
[Eric Matthews]: Funny, me too.

[Stan Fields]: What is the one most important thing our society needs? 
[Gracie Hart]: That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan. 
[crowd is silent] And world peace! [crowd cheers ecstetically]
[Stan Fields]: Thank you, Gracie Lou. 
[Gracie Hart]: And thank 'you', Stan.
[Gracie walks offstage]
[Victor Melling]: That was charming. Are you drunk? 
[Gracie Hart]: I'm glad you enjoyed it. 
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!  

[Stan Fields]: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
[Cheryl 'Rhode Island']: That's a tough one. 
I'd have to say April 25th. 
Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

[Cheryl 'Rhode Island']: My idea of a perfect date would be a man who takes me to a romantic dinner, and then we walk along the beach barefoot discussing books and - and music and - and movies. 
[Karen 'New York']: No wonder you're still a virgin. 

[Kathy Morningside]: New Jersey, as you know, there are many who consider the Miss United States Pageant to be outdated and anti-feminist. 
What would you say to them? 
[Gracie Hart]: Well, I would have to say... I used to be one of them. 
And then I came here and I realized that these women are smart, terrific people who are just trying to make a difference in the world. 
And we've become really good friends. 
I mean, I know we all secretly hope the other one will trip and fall on her face... oh, wait a minute, I've already done that! 
And for me this experience has been one of the most rewarding and liberating experiences of my life.
[Victor Melling]: My God, I did it! 
[Gracie Hart]: And if anyone, anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. 
I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they were never born. 
And if they ran, I would hunt them down. 
Thank you, Kathy. 
[Victor Melling]: A brief shining moment and then that mouth! 


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